July
9th 2017
That’s Life©1966 #684 (7-7-17)* By Ted Hickman Feel Free to Email: Tedhick@gmail.com

Posted under That's Life Columns

Don’t forget the  dinner

Don’t forget tonight  the Solano County Friends of NRA will be holding its annual fund raising dinner from 5:30 to 10:30 at the old Vets Hall in downtown Dixon hosted by the Dixon Game and Conservation Club. We’ll be at the door to welcome you!

 

 

Each year since we (the city of Dixon) legalized the sale and use of fireworks locally the naysayers have predicted tragedy, fires and major injuries. After selling fire works for a couple of days just before , and on the fourth each year we’ve driven around town to see how our efforts went up in smoke… and you know what? It’s been really neat to see about every court in the city with family and friends, hoses and buckets of sand, people setting off the safe and sane fireworks we sold. We can identify many of them at a distance and it gives you kind of a warm feeling (or maybe it’s just we haven’t cooled down from being in a plywood box loaded with gun powder in 100 degree weather for 12 or so hours.) to see the 4th celebrated with the get-togethers, with food and friends where families, an many times whole streets or courts, have their own celebration of our nation’s birth… the way it should be! Bad things are bound to happen because you can’t cure stupid.

Hope you had a safe and memorable holiday and thank you for supporting your own special, local, non-profit organizations by purchasing your fireworks in the following locations:

Soroptimist of Dixon had the booth at Walmart,  Dixon High Cross Country had the booth at CVS, or the Dixon Historical Society had the booth at the old George’s Orange,

American Legion Ladies Auxiliary had the booth at Safeway

This Safeway booth has been the most productive in the city each year when proceeds are totaled up. This is for a couple of reasons: Location, location, location… Then it is run and managed correctly by Patti Coppes, stays open each available hour and usually has the biggest assortment of the hard to find items. This booth splits up its proceeds with veteran’s causes and Dixon Toys for Tots/community Christmas programs… which is why you saw Linda and I, and our TFT’s folks there all day on the 3rd and the morning shift on the 4th.

 

The Toys For Tots/ Community Christmas Programs Board again set a one day record selling over $12,000 on July 3rd alone and another couple of thousand in the morning of July 4th. Thanks to all of you who chose to support: Vets, kids and seniors by buying your fireworks through us at Safeway’s booth. Our 1/7th share of the total profits will start off the Christmas programs fund raising year with a bang, so to speak.

The effort this year took about 13 volunteers 17 hours over one and one-third days on the 3rd and 4th. to set a one-day sales record. The photos below show the outside of the booth, the inside and part of the Dixon TFT’s board who are: Left to right, Laura Gotch, Arlene Jimenez, Pam Murdock, Linda Hickman, Fred Vanderwold and his son, Craig. Caught between shifts and not in the photo are: Chelsi Johnson, Tanace Hatchel, Amanda Gotch, Linda Vanderwold, Shane and Missy Nichols, Randy and Patti Aguirre who gave up their holiday time for the cause that will allow them to spend many more hours of their family time come Nov./ December when the community Christmas programs swing into operation.

This was the first year in many where the temptures didn’t soar above 100.

The first and second photos show the outside and inside of the booth… The last photo shows a small part of Sierra Drive where about 50 people watched on both sides of the street as they put on their own fireworks show in the middle of the street with the “safe and sane” ones sold by our group.

 

 

 

 

More Things for thought!

The best part of an argument is the makeup sex……unless you’re fighting with your brother.

 

A vegan, an atheist, a reformed alcoholic and an ex-smoker all walk into a bar……everyone else leaves.

 

my boss hates it when I shorten his name to “Dick”……especially ‘cuz his name is Craig.

 

today i met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you stick your finger in their mouth when they yawn.

 

this salad tastes like i’d rather be fat!

 

somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of you and the impact you made in their life……but it’s not me.  i think you’re a fool.

 

why do medications always have side effects like “anal leakage” or “suicidal thoughts”?…….why not “invisibility” or “spontaneous orgasms”?

 

one of the lights in my bathroom is out……i look at least 10 years younger.

 

if i had a dollar for every time one of my kids said “dad, you’re not funny!” i could buy a house at the beach……and live alone.

 

sometimes the thoughts in my head get so bored they go out for a stroll through my mouth…….this is rarely a good thing.

 

don’t confuse my personality with my attitude.  my personality is who i am……my attitude depends on who you are.

 

if someone ever tells you you’re putting too much peanut-butter on your bread stop talking to them immediately……you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

 

my father always told me it’s far better to shoot for the stars and miss than to aim for a pile of crap and hit.

 

the neighbors loved the music so much once i turned it up they invited the police to come listen.

 

if God had really wanted us to go metric Jesus would have had 10 disciples, not 12.

 

if you find yourself being anxious over something you’ve said or done, relax…..just remember that 90% of the world only cares about what you look like.

 

i just ate what i thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt……..turns out it was deodorant.  and how is your day going? 

 

my wife looks for signs i’m cheating……but, seriously, who’d make a sign?

 

i hate it when people ask me where i see myself 5 years from now when i can’t even remember where the hell i was 2 days ago. 

 

if Romeo and Juliet hadn’t died they would have eventually married, had kids, gotten old and fat and grown to hate each other….so it actually was a happy ending. 

 

those magical three words you’ve been waiting so long to hear…….red, or white?

 

there are approximately 1.025,110 words in the English language but i could never string enough of them together to properly express how much i’d like to hit you with a chair.

 

apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex.  what is wrong with people?……..have they never had pizza?

 

i just told the wife it took her longer to pick out a Netflix movie than it took me to pick out her engagement ring……bad analogy.

 

the neighbor girl wants a smart car for her 16th birthday…….she thinks it will do her geometry homework.

 

i was teasing my grandaughter and said “when i grow up i’m going to be an astronaut.”……..she replied, “you’re already grown up.  you’ll be dead soon.”

 

a new study says that sugar is as addictive as tobacco, alcohol and drugs…….now i have to worry about testing positive for m&m’s.

the first time i went to vegas i was asked to leave the casino……i misunderstood what the crap table was for.  

 

a friend was telling me that cockroaches can live for weeks with no head…..that’s nothing.  husbands sometimes go for years.

i have come to the conclusion you can’t slap stupid people…….their head is safely protected by their ass cheeks.

 

 

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Dixon City Council 2017

 

Your Dixon City Council: Left to right , Vice Mayor, Scott Pederson, Devon Minnema, Junior member,Ted Hickman, senior member, Mayor Thom Bogue and councilmember Steve Bird.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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