March
11th 2017
That’s Life©1966 #665 (3-10-17)*

Posted under That's Life Columns

Don’t Forget to set your clocks ahead an hour Saturday night for the stupid DST switch

Feel Free to Email: Tedhick@gmail.com 

Dixon Annual Chamber Dinner Best Ever


            I/we have been to about 50 chamber of commerce annual “Citizen of the Year” dinners” and the one last Saturday stood out as the best ever. They had a pretty full house, great Hawaiian dance entertainment and the super choice of Jack Caldwell as the 2016 top citizen. (See story about Caldwell on page 1). The entire city council was present and the photo above shows a quorum of good sports recruited as part of a group hula. That’s your Mayor, Thom Bogue, left, Vice Mayor Scott Pederson in the center and recent vice mayor and councilman Steve Bird on the right. See how the three of them kept their space top avoid a Brown Act violation? The other photo is of the “Citizen of the Year” Jack Caldwell and presenter Barbara Beckworth.

 

 

“What’s With The Current City Council Crap”?

That’s what I’ve been asked by several people…The young junior member of the council, Devon Minnema, (who has a lovely singing voice by the way) who is always surrounded and obviously led by his family members and constant advisors (who in reality couldn’t lead a lemming charge off a cliff) is involved in a legal battle brought about by his own doing.. He/they only had to swear to the “facts” he/they have stated (which he’s refused to do) and he and his family only have to talk to investigators (which they refuse to do) and the matter would not have gotten this far.

For those of you that don’t know, he was elected in the last election receiving less than 40% of the vote and during, and right after the election, several people came forwards telling the city council he didn’t live in his district the day he took out his nomination papers. So what’s the big deal? If he did he’s in the right place. If he didn’t he can join Stockton’s former mayor in the judicial system to explain himself. This is serious business.

The council has taken the citizen complaints (the only thing it could do) and turned them over to the district attorney’s office and a civil grand jury and voted last week to ask the state attorney general’s office for input to try to end this battle of “he did” —“he did not” debate that is taking up council, staff time and taxpayers dollars. If it is found he didn’t live where he said he did at the time he took out the papers he can be removed from office, face legal proceedings and everything he’s voted on could have to be revisited and redone.

Pictured above is part of City Councilman Devon Minnema’s (third from right) support crew (that he posted on Facebook) that comes to each meeting to advise him on issues.  His stepfather is on the far right with his mother, on the far left the president of a local club to which he belongs and in the back in the white shirt is his father…I don’t know who the other two are.

          So don’t blame us and don’t believe the B.S. or any false news you read or hear. It’s very simple; if he and his family talk to the investigators and swear out affidavits attesting to what they have all been claiming then the matter is simplified… if not, as Popeye would say… you pays your fees and you takes your chances. If the parties involved stepped up to the plate and talked to investigators and gave sworn testimony that what they’ve said is true the council could drop the Quo Warranto being filed with the attorney general.

The story is last week’s IV front page story said “City attorney stands to get tens of thousands” to file Quo Warranto… is simply a fabrication.  I can say one thing; to my knowledge “tens of thousands of dollars” were not asked for nor authorized. The council is bound by certain ethical and state laws to respond to public charges and is doing what it can to bring this thing to a fair, just and quicker end… and that’s all I have to say about that!

 

Ethics And Sexual Harassment; It’s No Joke

 

 

All elected and appoint officials, plus managers, must take these two-two hour state mandated course every two years. After two hours of mandated state training on both subjects here’s what I got.

Ethics: Don’t do anything you know you shouldn’t.

Sexual harassment: Don’t get your honey where you get your money (workplace dilly dallying usually end up with problems) and to be safe don’t: talk, look, joke, or even think about just about anything other than your job. Read California’s ridiculous laws and how they are written and you’ll see what I mean. The law suits are very expensive and as usual only the attorneys come out way on top.

In the work place jokes and comments about women, LGBT, race, religion, just damned near anything needs to be avoided or yesterday’s “friend” might be tomorrow’s new Mercedes driver. So be very, very careful what you say and do, all it takes is a word or a glance and HR could be sending you a note.… You know I just saw this good looking chick…oh, never mind.

The funny thing is I just recently had to take state mandated comprehensive courses and tests on ethics and sexual harassment to renew my Ca. Real Estate license… but of course it doesn’t count for, or as much, as a two-two hour lectures we just had to sit through… go figure.

 

 

 More Things For Thought

 

*The real reason you shouldn’t flush condoms is that the fish get caught in them… this makes the fishermen laugh and they fall out of the boat.

*Our Grand kids are apparently very optimistic every glass they leave sitting around the house is half full.

*So why do we call it “toilet paper”? … Does anyone actually wipe their toilet with it?

*Someone once asked me what my view is on lesbians… apparently “usually in high def” wasn’t the answer they were looking for.

*My wife drives me to drink… unless a friend volunteers.

*For someone who said “correct me if I’m wrong”…  you seemed genuinely upset and surprised when I did.

*One of the doc’s in our local practice group treats a large number of coma patients. When asked what motivated him to do so he said “I’m just here to put smiles on their faces”… as he slipped the cap back on the Sharpie.

*Nothing says “proper retirement planning” like a trash can over flowing with losing lottery tickets.

*I bumped into one of my old classmates the other day with a beer belly, thinning hair and a gray mustache… she’s really let herself go.

*People always ask “would you rather be right or happy?”… I’ve always found I’m the happiest when I’m right.

*Just for your information… that circular motion you make with your hand to tell someone to roll down the car window is giving away your age.

*If only ISIS would have kidnapped Liam Neeson’s daughter… we wouldn’t be dealing with all this crap.

*Gynecologist was making small talk during the exam.  “So, you’re in the military?”  “Yes”, she replied… “Well, thank you for your cervix!”

*Divorce court is just like regular court… except the judge sentences you to freedom.

*Gonorrhea is the name of the medication used to treat diarrhea… right?

*Drinking copious amounts of alcohol is good for my health… it takes me three times as long to walk home from the bar.

*Many English names are derived from occupations… Fletcher (makes arrows), Cooper (makes barrels) and Cunningham (raises tricky pigs).

*I find I’m somewhat disappointed… I thought being an adult would involve a lot more sex.

*My neighbor has no clue why there are several piles of fecal matter on his porch… I have no clue why he would choose to use a power saw at 5:28AM.

*I was startled by a loud fart…….I was fartled!

*My old girlfriend asked me what would make her shoes look sexier… “Give them to your sister” was apparently a relationship-breaking response.

*If you are a cannibal then technically it’s hunting… not murder.

*There are directions with pictures on this underarm deodorant… yet another tragedy avoided.

*Saw two of my kids hugging one another and then realized they were choking each other… oh, okay, that makes a lot more sense.

*A physician was breaking some bad news to a man from Rome. “I’m very sorry.  You have HIV.  Any questions?”… “Yes, what the hell is H4?”

*I think at this point in my life my liver would greatly benefit from a body transplant.

*Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing with my life- Where I’m going.  If I’ll fall in love.  What I want in life… then I pull up my pants and flush the toilet.

*Burgers, she wrote… Angela Lansbury before she goes shopping.

*The children were nestled all snug in their beds… until they had to pee, get a drink, show me they can whistle and ask me if birds have teeth.

*The leading causes of death among men: Heart disease, cancer, buying the wife a gym membership for Valentine’s Day.

*”Keanu Can Canoe, Can You?”… the title of an instructional video in which actor Keanu Reeves teaches people the finer points of canoeing.

*We’re all so glad the drought here in California is apparently over.  Last summer going through the mountains there was a Forestry Service sign… “Extreme Fire Hazard…Don’t Even Fart in the Forest!”

 

 

 

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