February
24th 2017
That’s Life©1966 #663 (2-24-17)*

Posted under That's Life Columns

Feel Free to Email: Tedhick@gmail.com


Dixon: Get Gas And Tanked At Same Time?

 

            Huh? The Dixon Planning Commission Thursday night led by and an underwhelming staff person lacking complete data and local knowledge approved a hard liquor permit for the two highway Chevron gas stations. They currently can sell beer and wine to drivers while they fill their tanks but the planning commission in its 6-1 decision decided that wasn’t enough danger to put out on the highway… so they granted a hard liquor sales permit that doesn’t even go to your elected officials to approve… I know, WTF, huh?

The not locally owned businesses can now compete with Wal-Mart to the north and Safeway and the liquor store to the south but… they’ve made it much easier for the highway drinkers. Now you can get gas and get gassed all in one stop.

I was only at the meeting because we all have to attend a mandatory two hour ethics training which was held for the commission and any other elected, appointed or city officials.

I respectfully, as a private citizen, asked them to withhold their decision so our new police chief, who starts March 1, could weigh in on  the matter… they refused and only the commission’s chair, Kevin Johnson used his head and voted not to allow the hard liquor to be sold. Why did the other six vote that way. You’ll have to ask them as Dixon once again sticks it to locally owned and/or operated local businesses that hire many of our citizens.

So as a city councilman I can, and will, appeal their decision and would now like to have the new COP, CHP and sheriff’s department weigh in on the matter. Enabling drivers to get gas and bottles of hard liquor and then get back on the freeway must make some people think, wouldn’t you think?

 

Gun Show Attracts Thousands!

 


            It’s been like 40 years since the last gun show in DixonMadden Hall at the Dixon May Fairgrounds is the biggest building in town and this past weekend it was packed with people, wall-to-wall, (about 2,700 on Saturday alone) for the two days of the Dixon Gun Show. The promoters either underestimated the attraction or were too cheap to use two buildings but the dozens of exhibits were packed in shoulder to shoulder and the paid visitors were wedged in like sardines.

Anyway there were at least two local exhibitors were local; Jack and Kathy Caldwell collectors of antique firearms, relics and curios had a booth as did Trey Hickman with his newly opened Hickman Gunsmithing business. Trey, (not me) finally has all of his federal, state and county licenses and permits, blood test, finger prints and cavity checks to do repairs, sales and transfers of California legal firearms.

 

Real Outdoorsmen!

 

Saturday, with blustering winds steadily blowing 20 to 30 mph and gusts to 50 mph, three local diehards decided it was a good time to go fishing… they had the time so why not huh? Dave Saucy. left, his friend Jeremy Edson, center and Saucy’s son Anthony 16, are seen on Liberty Island levy fishing for “whatever”. Saucy the owner of Dixon’s Independent Automotive is an avid outdoorsman and goes fishing and hunting whenever he gets a chance. He had posted a video of the flood waters at Liberty Island (Lake?) on line that had us take a ride out there to see if the ranch as in danger. It wasn’t really that high.   So after we checked it out we stopped and talked to the nutty trio who fished for three hours, with weights up to 10 and 12 ounces and, surprisingly they never saw a bite. Who’d a thunk it? You can see the high flood waters in the background… and it was colder than hell too and they had to use the truck to anchor their poles. They did see fish jump occasionally including maybe carp and a striper.

Rattlesnake In Your Tent!

From the email bag from an American Legion member and former marine:

A man was conducting an All Service member briefing one day, and he posed the question: “What would you do if you found a rattlesnake in your tent?”
A Sailor said, “I’d stomp on it.”
A Soldier said, “I’d hit it with my boot.”
A Marine said, “I’d catch it, break the fangs off, and eat it.”
An Airman said, “I’d call room service and find out why there’s a frigging tent in my room.”

AF guys: Go ahead and send me your best Marine joke.

More Things For Thought

*The teacher asked a kid in class what his favorite letter was. “g”, he replied… she then asked, “and why is that, Angus?”

*Put a photo of a guy with perfect abs on my refrigerator door… so I’m motivated to suck in my gut every time I pull out the ice cream.

*I had a roadside emergency this morning and by mistake called AA… those drunks can’t change a tire worth a damn.

*Always the camel… never the toe.

*I just crossed a crocodile with a homing pigeon… I think that’s gonna come back to bite me on the butt.

*People say I’m not very responsible… when in fact I’m responsible for “pajama casual” being added to the employee handbook as inappropriate attire.

*I love it when people tell me they’ll “see me in hell”… as if I’m not gonna weasel my way out of those plans too.

*It’s apparently fine to eat a “test” grape in the produce section… but take one bite of a rotisserie chicken and everyone loses their crap!

*I hate it when my camera rings and interrupts me when I’m in the middle of a selfie!

*Shockingly, the gyroscope is not a device used to locate a local Greek deli.

*I still think a wasp’s nest chucked thru a window would be the ideal way to end any hostage situation.

*She looks at me with those “come hither eyes”… and here I am frantically looking thru the dictionary trying to figure out what “hither” means.

*I grew up just a stone’s throw away from where a bunch of people died of mysterious head injuries.

*Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes… small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.

*I checked on Facebook and saw that my fourth grade girlfriend “liked” my hot chocolate recipe I shared… I knew that someday she’d come crawling back to me.

*Britney Spears released a new fragrance… the other dinner guests looked embarrassed and pretended not to notice.

*I call my wife “Bambi”.  She thinks it’s because of her big, brown eyes… but really I want someone to shoot her mother.

*My maiden aunt told her cat she was going to teach it English…….it looked at her and said “me how?”

*She called me at work and said “three girls in the office just received flowers.  They’re absolutely gorgeous!”… I said, “That’s probably why they received flowers.”

*My gay, dyslexic friend can’t wait for February 14… he thinks its vaseline day.

*”Mama Mia”:  A classic ABBA song, the soundtrack for the 2008 movie… or a guy from Maine telling his mother he’s arrived.

*If you can read this thank a teacher… if you can do busy work while watching an unrelated video thank a substitute teacher. 

*I asked my wife to act like a “naughty school girl”… she forged a note from her mother saying she didn’t have to dress for p.e.

*I went to the dyslexic association fund raiser last night and everything was going well until the DJ played YMCA… then it was just effing mayhem!

*I’ve never thought to look but is the Guinness book of world records listed in the Guinness book of world records as the book containing the most world records?  

*My mom always used to tell me to wear clean underwear in case I got hit by a bus… “If I do they won’t be clean anyway!”

*Nomenclature is an important part of courting a woman… for example; “feminine scent” and “feminine odor” are apparently perceived quite differently.

*I blame the crappy parts of our marriage on my wife… mostly because of her poor choice in men.

*How do Mexican’s feel about Trump’s wall… they’ll get over it!

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