February
10th 2017
That’s Life©1966 #661 (2-10-17)*

Posted under That's Life Columns



Feel Free to Email:
Tedhick@gmail.com

 

Don’t forget Tuesday is

 

 

Hope You Got To See It!

Sunday’s Super Bowl game was the greatest in football bowl history. Hope you got to see the biggest come back, first overtime and worst come from behind butt kicking since Hillary got Trumped in the political game… That’s it. Enough said except I told my roommate before the game started the odds makers had the Patriots a three point favorite and at half time she said, “I guess the odds makers were wrong”. The Vegas gang is rarely wrong. A lot of people made a lot of money if they followed the odds.

 

 

 

  February… The Party Month!

Ready? Ground Hog Day – Feb 2d – Valentine’s Day – Feb 14th – President’s Day –Feb 20th – and Mardi Gras – Feb 28th.  But alas, just in case you need more opportunities (or reasons) to party hardy, here’s the rundown on some other holidays in February!

Feb 5th – National Weatherman’s Day – time to pour!

Feb 11th – Foundation Day & Tu B’Shevat – Google it! Who knew?

Feb 12th – Lincoln’s Birthday – Honest!

Feb 15th – Constitution Day —  Hoist a Madeira! Read on, you’ll learn why!

Feb 19th – Army Day – in Mexico! We do Cinco de Mayo, why not Army Day!?) my favorite

Feb 20th – Washington’s Birthday – No lie!

Feb 24th – Beginning of Carnival – clothing optional!

Feb 28th – The End of Carnival & Fat Tuesday – Yay – King Cake!

 

  • Continued From Last Week…

Real Estate part II… Anyway back to real estate. If you are going to buy or sell a house take this from me as a person, not a real estate sales person; only deal with someone you know or with someone that someone you know can recommend.  Real estate salespersons first have to sell you on themselves before you trust them to sell your home and maximize profits on your behalf. If you’re buying the same thing applies. You want that salesperson to get the very best price and all around deal they can for you. For that, let’s say you are selling a $500,000 home you may be giving their broker(s) $30,000 of which they get a big chunk… unless they have a different arrangement, and then they might get it all. But, know this, all real estate deals are the broker’s and not the sales people who work for them … sales people are on commission. The buyer pays nothing.

I’m semi-retired and only handle a few sales at a time so I can give each my full attention and I work in conjunction with other Dixon agents at the C-21 office here in Dixon over by Starbucks. If you want or need our help we will be glad to professionally help you and take the thousands of dollars you will pay for that help… Or you can use someone you don’t know or an out of town firm, or some slick talking folks you don’t know, that don’t live here… and hope for the best… so there!

 

Just Think About It For A Minute

 

For those of you who can still think for themselves and figure out right from wrong here’s a flash. More people need to be able to understand real news from fake news, that some of their teachers and college tenured “professors” are liberal B.S. artists teaching his or her opinions instead of facts… the list goes on and on. More and more people are finally figuring out the tightly controlled mass media is force feeding us and our youth propaganda and forcing them to take their radical view point as fact. In reality much of what you hear and see is out of context and carefully grafted to mold the opinions of our young, the lazy and the dumb.

Most of the crap is subtle like the well-financed Muslim propaganda machine making many of us infidels wonder why these poor people are being singled out… forget they pledge death to all infidels. They are so effective they have convinced the government to make it a federal hate crime to put a single piece of bacon near a mosque. Jews don’t eat pork either (where do you think the Muslims got it from?) but do you think it would be a crime to leave a pork chop on a synagogue step? Forget they want to implant sharia law in the enclaves they are establishing all over our country. Forget there are millions of them here now and their birth rates are skyrocketing while all other religions and nationalities are going down… do the math folks. In the long run they can out breed us and we are paying them to do so… wake up.

Here’s the latest liberal poison to subtly worm its way into our conscientious. Notice how the media called President Obama and call our sitting president just disrespectfully Trump? They have come up with all kind of new terms for illegal (unlawful) aliens… none of which, of course, mention or even hint at the fact they are criminals and illegal i.e.: “contravening a specific law, especially a criminal law”.

Let’s make a couple of things clear:  1. Dixon is not a sanctuary city and we will keep doing what our oath of office says, to support the U.S. constitution and have our law enforcement officers, get this radical concept, enforce the law. 2.  Dixon is also not a homeless dumping ground for Fairfield/Suisun… wake up folks and see what’s really happening.

Ever heard this?  The oath I and the Dixon city council  took: “ I Ted Hickman, do solemnly swear  that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States and the Constitution of the State of California against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the Constitution of the United States and the State of California; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties upon which I am about to enter and during such time as I hold the office of city councilman.”

Every city county and state elected official here and in most of the country must swear this oath. How many of today’s state elected democratic yahoos wanting California to leave this country and defying the federal government, and the constitution, remember they took this oath? Doesn’t this mean most state and federally elected Democrats have violated this vow and should be removed from office?

 

More Things For Thought

*Chopsticks are one of the reasons that the Chinese never invented custard.

*Some people run marathons, some people go to the gym regularly… I just rocked back and forth for 10 seconds to gain enough momentum to get up off the couch.

*I just heard that they’ve found a cure for dyslexia… it was like music to my butt.

*People in town who have red and blue flashing Christmas lights: Please take them down… every time I pass I have to slow down, put on my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, dump my beer, swallow my joint and hide my gun.  

*Losing weight doesn’t seem to be working for me… so from now on I’m going to concentrate on getting taller.

*I talk awfully tough… for someone who occasionally falls over when putting on their underwear.

*What’s the difference between Price is Right host Drew Carey and Lorena Bobbitt… Drew Carey is a slick pricer.

*Everyone said the hamster catapult wasn’t appropriate for the science fair… but they couldn’t stop watching.

*Everyone laughs at that little do-dad you keep your change in… Until they need a dime or an M&M without lint on it.

*I haven’t been able to take down the Christmas lights on the house yet this year… it’s really hard to reach the roof from my couch.

*I was always aware that someday I was going to get old… but it was a bit of a surprise how quickly it happened.

*From this moment forward I’m only going to accept criticism that is delivered to me in the form of interpretive dance.

*I’ve reached the age where it is now possible for me to throw out my back by sneezing and farting at the same time.

*Have you ever wondered what “don’t touch” is in Braille?

*The trainer at the gym is always screaming “feel the burn”… I think that’s the same way Satan greets people in Hell.

*For every raindrop that falls an idiot forgets how to drive.

*Wives always expect us to take the empty toilet paper roll off that holder-thingy… like we’re all wizards or some such crap.

*Along with the taco sauce and napkins it would be nice if Taco Bell would throw a small roll of toilet paper in your take-out bag.

*My grandson’s latest report card looks like someone with a stuttering problem trying to swear.

*My boss got hit by a car when I was on my way to the Wishing Well… so yes, I do have some spare change.

*Whoops!  Made the mistake of dropping my pants when my dentist put on latex gloves.

*I just watched a donkey as he crossed the road and the amazing thing was he looked both ways before entering the roadway… what a smart ass!

*There’s a fire at the ‘trick birthday candle’ plant… firefighters have been battling the blaze off and on for 5 days.

*I don’t think I’ll ever find a stable job… but then I’m just not all that comfortable around horses.

*All my life I never thought I’d wake up at 6am to go jogging… and so far I’ve been right.

A guy walked into Victoria’s Secret and asked for a see-through negligee size 46-48-54… The clerk looked at him and said, “why?”

*It’s hard to find a friend who’s cute, funny, loving, generous, sexy and smart… my advice to all my friends:  don’t lose me.

*Thank goodness for words that begin with “F”… or I wouldn’t have made it through this week.

*I’m an animal in bed… like a Koala; I can sleep 20 hours a day.

*Have you ever met anyone who makes everything a competition? I’ve met more.

 

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