January
22nd 2017
That’s Life©1966 #658 (1-20-17)*

Posted under That's Life Columns

Feel Free to Email: Tedhick@gmail.com 

 

2017-1-20 - Copy

Today is the start of a new era…New President and a new Dixon Police Chief, Robert Thompson, 44, from the FBI to Dixon!

 

Just When You Think You’ve Heard The Worst2017-1-20a - Copy

            *Last week I wrote about the man/woman who was sentenced to life in prison for murder here in California. He/she wanted to change sexes so the state is ponying up $100,000 or so to let him be her for the rest of his/her life, as a guest of the state, as a very ugly woman.

#

2017-1-20b - Copy

           *Now Obama commutes *Chelsea Manning’s (the former Bradley pictured as a woman) prison sentence three days before leaving office. Manning was the male Army private sentenced in 2013 to 35 years in prison for the 2010 leak of classified documents to the anti-secrecy group, WikiLeaks. Manning is now to be released on May 17, the New York Times reported. Shortly after being sentenced to 35 years in prison, Bradley Manning announced that he is transgender and was changing his name and identity to Chelsea Manning, a move that put pressure on the military to allow Manning to undergo transition surgery and treatment at taxpayers’ expense. Manning was originally scheduled for release in 2045. Manning served as a low-level intelligence analyst in Iraq in 2009, a post that allowed then-Bradley Manning to access U.S. classified computer networks. After leaking what White House press secretary Josh Earnest on Tuesday characterized as “damaging to national security,” Manning was convicted and sentenced to prison in 2013 and is currently serving out the sentence at a male military prison in Fort Leavenworth, Kansas.      

Apparently wanting to top that in his last days in office your president Obama decided to stick it to all Americans by having the he/she former U.S. Army, convicted espionage creep’s sentence commuted. He/she was sentenced to 30 years or more for giving thousands of military bits of info to WikiLeaks.  Obama seems to think seven years was enough to atone for his/her treasonous sins and commuted his/her sentence. You know you paid for that expensive sex change don’t you? What the hell’s wrong with this country? I wonder, can POTUS Trump un-commute some of the folks Obama has decided to let lose? Obama is freeing hundreds of criminals by giving: 64 pardons and 209 prison commuted sentences, more than any president in history … as parting gift to the American people? Gives you kind of a special feeling doesn’t it?

#

2016Wave3

  • Here’s a beaut your former POTUS out did himself when he devalued the United State Medal of Freedom Award, the high civilian award this country can give. He gave it to his friend and V.P. for having been his patsy for the last eight years… Yep, he awarded to Joey Biden, the do nothing, know nothing assistant POTUS for being a loyal lap/yap dog I guess.

#

*Protests derail UC Davis event with Breitbart’s Milo Yiannopoulos and Martin Shkreli

 
2017-1-20c

 

So proud to be close to PROD… Just across the highway… The People’s Republic Of Davis outdid itself this past week when this virtue of higher learning embarrassed itself, us and this state by having masked students demonstrate against the first amendment of the constitution. They rallied outside of an auditorium where two controversial speakers were slated to speak. Because they didn’t like the message (they never heard) they wanted to make sure no one else heard it either. They were successful by blocking the entrance and stopping the lectures because the cowardly administrators were afraid to move the crowd and hurt (or squirt) any of these generation FU brats. The “students” protesting are just coasting through life so far on mommy and daddy’s hard earned money. How proud the parents must be that their children, afraid to have their faces seen, are protesting against someone’s right to offer an opinion that differed from theirs. I’m ashamed of the UC system and the coddling regents who are afraid to uphold the oath they took to defend our constitutionMaybe they’ve never read it? You think they would stop a speech if *Chelsea Bradley Manning wanted to come and speak… I bet not. What’s happened to our conservative ag school?

A good butt kicking or a face full of pepper spray might have taught these students a real life lesson… they need to get their education other places than just the mass media and liberal tenured socialist college professors… there’s a real world out there which they will find can be ugly when their play time at the UCD resort is over.

California…The land of fruits, nuts, the UC system and future socialist weenies.

#

“Nair”… True Story

This is from my old high school chum Bill Daniel from Dayton, Ohio so it must be true.

2017-1-20f

Ted: My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog’s ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell my wife that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the pharmacy and get some “Nair” hair remover and rub it in the dog’s ears once a month.

So she went to the store and bought some “Nair” hair remover. At the register, John the pharmacist told her, “If you’re going to use this under your arms, don’t use deodorant for a few days.” the wife replied, “I’m not using it under my arms.” The pharmacist said, “If you’re using it on your legs, don’t use body lotion for a couple of days.” Again she replied, “I’m not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I’m using it on my Schnauzer.”

The pharmacist said, “Well, then its best that you stay off your bicycle for at least a week.”

 

More Things For Thought

*Everybody said it was a bad idea to store glue in the same cabinet as I store firearms, but don’t get crazy… I’m sticking to my guns.

*”It’s definitely, in fact 100 percent, better without a condom”, he said, removing it from his soup.

*Based on how poorly this burrito was wrapped I have to assume it was made by the one person employed by Taco Bell that has never rolled a joint.

*Instead of calling a package “family size” it would really be a lot more helpful if it listed a time frame… such as “3 hours of cookies”.

*I try to act nonchalant… but down deep underneath I’m as chalant as hell.

*Melania Trump was asked, “As first lady you’ll be responsible for the white house China.  Any thoughts?”… “Oh, Donald said he’s getting rid of china.”

*My wife made me pack my own bag for our vacation… and now I have to figure out how to wear potato chips.

*I’m beginning to think that the bags that appeared under my eyes in 2008 aren’t going to go away.

*Tonight’s menu was interesting:  gourmet pork blend sausage with an organic tomato reduction served on warm split bread rolls… also known as hot dogs with ketchup.

*”We have forty-friggin’-five Tupperware bowls and only seven lids”, she screamed… startling both herself and the cat.

*Always jingle all the way… nobody likes a half-ass jingler.

*I’m pretty sure this kid at the drive-thru made me repeat “I’ll take a number two” several times just so he and his cronies could laugh at me.

*I was playing Carnac the magnificent the other night…..”Donald Trump, Hannibal Lecter, liver and fava beans”… opens the envelope: “name a winner, a skinner, and a dinner.”

*The end of the month financially is a great deal like stubbing your toe in the dark… probably broke but there’s nothing you can do about it.

*Once you get past my facade of gentle indifference… you’ll find that I genuinely don’t give a crap.

*Everyone preaches ‘body acceptance’ until you show up naked at the company picnic.

*Bought the wife flowers for her birthday and she was appreciative but said “Don’t keep wasting money on things that are going to die.”… WTF?  She keeps buying cat food!

*I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket… and I always end up in the self-checkout lane.

*My wife says I have the uncanny ability to push all of her buttons… unfortunately I can’t seem to find the ‘mute’ button.

*I think all this ‘global warming’ stuff is a crock… it’s much colder this month than it was last.

*The other day I held the door open for a clown… I thought it was a nice jester.

*I’m not sure how some people are capable of getting their foot in their mouth and their head up their butt at the same time… but here we are.

*I don’t feel old… I feel like a 12-year old who is very, very sick.

*Pro tip:  You can take the bag out of a carton of boxed wine and use it as an emergency pillow… and suckle yourself to sleep.”

*I’ve gotten to the age where I wake up feeling hungover even when I don’t drink… so what the hell, I may as well drink.

*I don’t understand why a girl thinks it’s sexist if a guy pays for dinner…it just makes sense. After all, we get paid more.

*Sending a woman a picture of your genitals is for amateurs… true men get out there and disappoint women in real life.

*Some people drink deeply from the well of knowledge… other just seem to rinse and spit.

*My wife always buys sexy, holiday lingerie… but this year I’m going to refuse to wear it.

*Do people who regularly go to the gym know about the anxiety diet… it’s free.

2017-1-20e

#

No Comments »

Leave a Reply



--->