January
14th 2017
That’s Life©1966 #657 (1-13-17)*

Posted under That's Life Columns


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Local Tragic Stuff…

 

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*Our community suffered two big losses in the past couple of weeks with the passing of Ed Foss, right photo, and then right behind him Robert (Bob) Dohr. These men were not only personal friends but over the years gave selfishly of their time and talents to both groups and youngsters from throughout the area. Ed was a long time hunter safety instructor and among other things a gunsmith and long-time Dixon Boat Club and Dixon Game Club Member. Bob was also a current officer in the boat club and was the current President of the Dixon Game Club. Both were renowned outdoorsmen who fished and hunted and taught others how to do it. Interestingly enough they were both outstanding gourmet wildlife cooks and in big demand for cooking for big groups. Ed taught both of our son’s how to shoot properly and fixed their guns and Bob worked with us for years with Toys for Tots. These losses are one that cannot be replaced and both will be long remembered. Rest in peace you two.

 

Libertards Whine And Dine

 


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            We watched a couple of minutes of the Golden Glob Award show until they started in on our President elect. I understand millions of other viewers also tuned away from this Hollywood political left-wing propaganda tool. Meryl Streep did an Oscar winning performance with tears and all bashing the group of people who haven’t even taken office yet.

 I have a solution for them. The left wing radical libertards gathered there can solve all of the problems they whined about if they were willing to put their money where their mouths are… Will they? Of course not. They will whine, complain, nitpick and back stab about social problem they forecast.

If that group really cared they collectively can fund the Council for Arts and Entertainment with pocket change and use it as a tax deduction. They can also solve all of the social ills they perceive with their multi-multi –millions with which they are vastly over paid. They can form an association to work on everything they complained about. Will they do it? Of course not. That’s not the liberal way. Their way to cry about what the government isn’t doing with our tax dollars not volunteer to give up a few of their measly millions to help with solutions. The crowd gathered in that room has more money than many third world countries.

Then you have the surprised creeps like the former all-American hero kind of guy, Garth Brooks. He somehow has made a left turn and turned his back on his fans that made him countless millions. Throw in Canada’s Celine Deion and the millions she takes from this country every time she decides to grace us with her visit to the states. We’ve seen them both in concert and have their cd’s. Never again.

I hope POTOS Trump taxes all entertainers at 50 percent and all foreign entertainers at 75% and get some of our money back… thereby giving them a semi-legitimate reason to whine while they dine. B.S.

 

The “Land Of Fruits and Nuts” Strikes Again…

 

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            You might think this is something out of “Ripley’s Believe it or Not” but it’s not; believe it. This comes out of news stories from across the country saying, get this: A 57-year-old. I “transgender woman” and convicted killer serving a life sentence in California is getting a sex change operation with the taxpayers, of course, footing the bill. California prison officials last August approved payment for the surgery for Shiloh Heavenly Quinn who is lounging in prison after being convicted of first degree murder, kidnapping for ransom and has no possibility for parole.

California officials agreed to fund Quine’s surgery in 2015 with state money. Her/his case led a federal magistrate to provide transgender female prisoners held in men’s facilities with nightgowns and necklaces.

Joyce Hayhoe, a federal court spokeswoman, said “sex-reassignment surgeries” could cost $100,000 and added that the federal government would reimburse a portion of the state’s expenses. Wow! Is that great or what?

The Hollywood crowd certainly wouldn’t want Heavenly to be uncomfortable for the rest of his/her natural life behind bars just because he/she kidnapped and killed someone. Wait! Maybe Obama or Brown will commute his/her sentence… could happen.

…And then the rains came….

 

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*It rained some here in town. Our rain gauge overflowed at 5 inches. Our ranch looked like a lake…See Hickman Lake photo. But when you think about the folks in the Sierra having 17 feet in just a few days I guess some local flooding wasn’t that bad huh?

*City Hall had a big enough leak to cancel this week’s city council meeting because the electrical box was wet and water was in the council chambers. The meeting will probably be re-scheduled for this coming Tuesday.

* Our Solano County Supervisor has been elected chairman of the board for the coming year. Good for you John Vasquez!

*The school board/district is getting ready to spend the $30.4 million voters approved on Nov. 8 of last year. They are going to do “up-grades” to the old high school and Anderson Elementary and possibly eliminate the seventh and eighth grades at the Montessori School.

 

More Things For Thought


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*What do you get when you put Lorena Bobbitt, Tammy Faye, and O.J. Simpson in the same room… a butcher, a Bakker and a license plate maker.

*We have new neighbors who are the type that run marathons and such… we’re the type that when we get out of the car donut boxes fall in the driveway.

*How terrible did Maria Von Trapp’s life have to be if she included doorbells on her list of favorite things?

*After story time with my granddaughter I mused, “I wonder what the Wicked Witch’s name was”… ‘Ding Dong” she replied.  “Ding Dong, the witch, is dead”.

*I’m sorry, I can’t… I’m still trying to seize yesterday.

*It really pisses me off when people say “I’m a vegetarian except for fish”… really?  Well I’m a non-drinker except for Jack Daniels.

*Only a fraction of adults understand that there’s a fine line between numerator and denominator.

*People tell you to make yourself at home… and then get all prissy when you drink their liquor and take a nap on the kitchen table.

*I’ve been trying to pair my new phone with the Bluetooth in the car… and I think it’s easier to get panda’s to mate.

*’Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the house… dad was trashed on Grey Goose, mom spilled merlot on her blouse.

*We live in odd times when an artist like Sia (Australian musician) doesn’t take advantage of the legal freedoms we have and change her last name to “Lateralligator”.

*I grew up in a time when a mother’s saliva was the most powerful cleaning agent around.

*Remember when you were a kid and they said “you can be anything you want to be”… I seem to have chosen lower middle class and overweight.

*Contrary to current thought Gold, Franckincense and Myrrh is NOT a Jewish law firm.

*I’m still feeling pretty proud of myself after a Jehovah’s Witness said, “May I ask you one question?”… and I said “I think you just did.” and closed the door.

*One of the boys barged into the bathroom when I was in the shower. “I saw your peanut!” he shouted… he either mispronounced a word or made a very hurtful observation.

*Were you aware that if you hold a gift card right up close to your ear you can hear the person who bought it… saying “This’ll do.”

*Fisherman’s tip:  If you’re out on a half-day boat and someone calls you “chum”… they’re probably not being friendly.

*Opposites don’t always attract… I’ve met several sane and normal people and found nothing about them appealing.

*What’s perhaps the kindest way to tell your husband you’re menopausal…”honey!  We’re out of eggs!”

*When I see really attractive people I laugh cuz I know in the Aztec culture they’d be sacrificed to the God’s for their beauty… strange way of coping with not being attractive, but it works for me.  

*I always get a “yes” from women… but it’s more often than not followed by “That’s him, officer.”

*Told the wife that the wireless headphones she gave me for Christmas appeared to be defective… she informed me they were earmuffs.

*Good evening and I’d like to welcome you to “kleptomaniac club”… I see you already took a brochure.

*My wife told me that women were better at multi-tasking than men so I told her to sit down and shut up… she couldn’t do either one.

*My new year’s resolution is to stop using aerosol deodorants because of the harm they do to the environment… roll on, 2017.

*I was hoping that the reason it’s called Boxing Day is because you don’t have to come home from the local bar until you’ve had 12 rounds.

*If Edgar Allen Poe didn’t have a cat named Poepurry then I question his value as a writer.

*Wouldn’t it be funny if Batman’s parents reappeared after forty years… surprise! Wait. WTF are you wearing?

*Did anyone else notice in the closing scene of Titanic, when Rose was floating on the door or whatever and Jack was hanging on in the water, you could hear a faint “Marco” and then an even fainter “Polo”?

 

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