Posted under That's Life Columns
Feel Free to Email: Tedhick@gmail.com
Fruit Company Donation…Lions, Oddfellows, Rotary…
Incredible is the only way to describe it. Along with all of the monetary contributions which will cover expenses again for the 50th year, a new patron pops up. We went to the Vacaville Fruit Company to see about buying really good little dried fruit thingies for the 110 senior gift baskets. We talked to the owner and purchased a few things and she said she had a canceled order she would like to move and I offered to buy it at a discount and she said, “How about free?” She then donated over $1,100 gifts things for the senior program because she liked what we are doing… Is that great or what… and from Vacaville none the less. All within a week then Dixon Rotary (Pic #2-$1,000), Dixon Lions Club ($2,000). Dixon Oddfellows (Pic #1-$1,000) California Water Service ( Pic # 4-$1,000), Disney Club of N. Ca.($1,000 worth of new toys) along with many others let us make the food for families and senior baskets even more special for our 50th consecutive year of operation all of these programs. Thank you never seems to be enough.
How Our City Government is Supposed to work!
At times there seems to be some confusion, believe it or not, as to what kind of local government we have. We don’t have a strong mayor type of government. We do have a city manager form. This form has five elected officials that set policy which is carried our by the city manager. The city manager hires and fires all employees and runs the day to day business of the city and manages all of its factions.
The mayor’s and city treasurer’s positions are elected “at large” meaning everyone gets to vote for them. The other four councilmembers are now elected by districts with each district having an equal balance of Hispanic voters of about 43%.
The mayor is just one of five votes and acts as the city’s spokesperson and carries out the will of the majority of the council. The position is powerless to do anything by itself. The position has no special power and cannot independently make any decision, policy or otherwise, without majority council approval. The position is to chair the meetings and represent the city on various boards and committees where the will of the council is expressed.
Sounds complicated but it’s not. There are five city council people with one titled mayor to run the meetings. The mayor DOES NOT run the city and cannot independently make any decisions policy or otherwise without majority council approval… So there it is. Like it or not that’s the kind of government we have and it seems to work well for our people. I personally will not allow Obama type, one man decisions, to happen when brought by any one councilman or the mayor…. In other words we will all work together for you or there will be turmoil right in no river city. Sacramento’s popular mayor tried to change city government to a “strong mayor” system where the mayor replaces the city manager and had his butt handed to him. Citizens want diversity and the “power” such as it is equally divided among five officials… and it works that way… and that’s the way it is!
Husband and Wife Christmas Shopping
My first wife Linda and I were in a busy shopping center now, just before Christmas. Linda suddenly noticed that I was missing, and as we had a lot to do, so she called me on the cell phone. Linda said, “Where are you, you know we have lots to do.” I said “You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time, and I said that one day I would get it for you?”
More Things For Thought
*The wife asked me if I had used her expensive shampoo again… but as I shook my head no my lustrous hair gave me away.
*My good friend is a Jehovah’s Witness and is always pissed off at me… when he tries to tell me knock-knock jokes I ignore him.
*To those who say that cursing is the sign of a limited vocabulary… you’re an audacious, ideologically unsound, presumptuous sonuvab#@%*!
*It’s hard for me to be a politician because every time it’s my turn to speak in a debate I feel like starting with “listen you idiot…”
*There are just some sounds that everyone loves: Waves breaking on a beach, shoes on gravel, the snapping of the necks of those people who think they can disrespect you, cats purring.
*Of all the things we should be thankful for at this time of year not being a turkey should probably be the main one.
*Spoiler alert: The book “What to expect when you’re expecting”? it’s a baby. .. You’re expecting a baby.”
*Husbands find it difficult to listen to their wives because their brains are so full of important information… about cars, beer, and naked women.
*America: My ancestors didn’t give up everything and travel 4000 miles for the place to be overrun by immigrants.
*All the quarterbacks on my fantasy lingerie football team throw like girls.
*Being American is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer then on the way home getting a Mexican taco or Chinese take-out to then sit on Swedish furniture and watch an Italian movie on a Japanese TV.
*There’s just no reason good enough to explain why the word “chunks” should be on a canned food label.
*After lengthy reflection I’ve concluded having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.
*Saying the same thing over and over while hoping for a different result is called parenting.
*One of those subtle things to be thankful for at thanksgiving… every family member will have their mouth stuffed so full you don’t have to listen to their insanity.
*Do bisexuals experience sexual attraction twice a year… or once every two years?
*Some days I dance on my bed nearly naked and sing into my hairbrush… other days I take my meds.
*The waiter just guessed I wanted my steak ‘medium-rare’ and so I said “well done!”… and thus began our very own “who’s on first” routine.
*The lack of proof that Jennifer Hewitt is stalking me just convinces me further that she is very, very good at it.
*I only went to the church’s Christmas choir festival because I thought “a Capella” meant with ice cream.
*The simple fact that the dog no longer fears the hair dryer but still freaks out at the vacuum cleaner should tell you all you need to know… about the wife’s housekeeping skills.
*Donald trump has intimated that he will outlaw the sale of shredded cheese… in his attempt to make America grate again.
*I’ve never made eggplant before… is it better fried or scrambled?
*The worst kind of insomnia is called “snoring induced insomnia”… it’s defined as when you start snoring your wife shoves you to awaken you.
*I’ve spent the better part of my day trying to figure out why “mustache” and “headache” don’t rhyme.
*I’m starting my diet and intensive physical training tomorrow… I’m sincerely hoping I can count on your support and prayers that I die in my sleep tonight.
*Women all seem to want security… at least that’s what they yell whenever I approach them.
*They called the company “Weight Watcher’s” because they felt that “obesity observers” was too cerebral.
*A political analyst said the way to defeat ISIS is to cripple them financially… so now plans are afoot to sneak into Syria and build them whole foods.
*At a family gathering we were looking at old pictures and the question was asked “Whose funeral was this one taken at?”… and the greatest answer of all time, “I dunno. Let’s see who’s missing!”