Posted under That's Life Columns
Email: Thickman@onramp113.org
“Don’t walk behind me, for I may not lead. Don’t walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Don’t walk beside me either…Just pretty much leave me alone.”
Local Misc. Stuff
The Dixon Chamber of Commerce needs to step up to the plate on this one. They need to become the clearing center for all local area activities like many other chambers do. The recent weekend that saw the Chamber’s annual dinner, the California Waterfowl dinner right across the way from them take place as a huge dog show tied up most of the fair grounds. The Dixon Fireman’s Dinner was the same night and the
I’m sure we are all aware that the only night of the year available for these events was March 21st…right? The CWA said they booked a year ahead of time to avoid scheduling conflicts. I know of many people at each of the events who would have attended most of the other things if they were given a chance.
Tiffany Wing at the Chamber is more than qualified to call the fairgrounds, get their schedule, and then tell all other organizations (including the city) to check with the chamber before they schedule any event to avoid duplication of begging for decreasing dollars. This is a good chamber function and will benefit the business community. The chamber can then come out with a monthly, and eventually an annual calendar of events, which it can sell for a fund raiser…Forget who’s idea this was, its not new, just do us all a favor…please!
Election Update
Dane Besneatte is first on the ballot followed by Victoria Coppes and Drew Graska. Simply mark your vote for one of them (if you haven’t thrown it away) and mail it in or take it to city hall. The person elected will help represent you for the next 18 months as a councilperson in your local governmental body. Only about 2,000 of our over 8,000 registered voters have cared enough to make a simple mark and stick it in the mail box…shame on the rest of you…you just eat and sleep here huh?
Stupid County
You know the county PO’ed me enough to almost make me want to get back on the grand jury for another term. This time, in their wisdom, they created an expensive super “311” telephone system that has almost every county office upset too. If you go on the county’s web page each department has its own phone numbers. When you call the phone number listed a “311” operator answers and asks who you want to talk to. If that’s not bad enough they ask you what you want to talk to them about…WTF…brilliant huh? If I wanted an operator I would have called one. If I wanted to tell them my personal business I would have called them at home and chatted.
The system was supposed to work like an informational direction system when it was first discussed…not a bad idea. You call one number at the county when you didn’t know exactly who to call and they would direct your call…that ain’t the way it ended up. Another giant screw up by those looking for ways to waste our money. Straighten it out will you? Oh, I forgot who our supervisor is…part of the problem not part of the solution. “Super” Reagan…how about a trying to serve the taxpayer…for once?
Speaking About Elected Officials…
Ready for this one? Thanks to their Congressman George Miller
Cooperative Lambtown Effort
My first wife Linda and I had a lunch at Asian Gardens and talked to our city council person Michael Ceremello. I made a proposal for a business venture with Mr. Ceremello. I have been planning this for years and Mr. Ceremello listened to my proposal waiting to hear the whole thing. I want to have him and I design a Lambton T-shirt and have Bill Birdsong print them for us. The profits from sales will be to raise funds for a charity like Toys for Tots or Lambtown itself, maybe both.The design is simple by design. On the front its simply says Dixon’s Lambtown Celebration with a smiling sheep…On the back it has a picture of a guy who’s face looks a little like the mayor’s in a pair of bibs carrying, maybe a pitchfork (with the city’s logo on them) and chasing a sheep. The lettering says, “Dixon…where men are men and the sheep run scared.” I think we could make a fortune for local groups and I’m excited about it. Mr. Ceremello sat there and just looked at me like a stunned acorn and said, “I will give it all of the due consideration it is worth.”…whatever that means…now, let’s see…what color?
Dixon Lions Dinner-Dance This Saturday
The Dixon Lions Club will host its 40th annual dinner dance this Saturday, April 4, with cocktails at 7 pm followed by dinner at 8. The “Survivor” themed event will be held in Madden Hall at the Dixon May Fair grounds where you can dance to the live music of the “The Time Bandits.”A donation of $135 per couple includes New York steak dinner and “entry fee”. Tickets are available from any Dixon Lions Club member or by calling Scott Smith at 693-1754 or Jeff Dwelley at 678-8370.
For the first time tickets will be available at the door.The $135 “entry donation” qualifies you for a chance to win BIG prizes and no one under 21 admitted. First prize $10,000 cash, second prize $1,500 cash & more! (Ted’s note: If you don’t come you may win a free landscaping job from Ceremello’s citation winning Landscaping Service so you better buy a ticket).All proceeds benefit
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly…
Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent some playtime with her son, and went to bed early. The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date. The blonde, Kelly, was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them. “No way,” the blonde Kelly exclaimed. “I almost got caught yesterday!”
From The Email Bag…
Ted, You need to mention something about Coppes campaign being financed almost entirely with union money. Close to $5,000 I hear. Will we get a clone of Mike Smith…M. A., Dixon (I don’t need to, you just did and for some reason I have a problem picturing his face on her body or the other way around).
Ted: Three thoughts to ponder …
(1) Zero Gravity When NASA started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C. The Russians used a pencil. Your taxes are due again…enjoy paying them.
(2)Our Constitution: ‘They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq .Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it’s worked for over 200 years and we’re not using it anymore’
(3) Ten Commandments: The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse is that you cannot post ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal,’ ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’ and ‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment. Dave C. Dixon
Ted: Did you hear about this?: The Sheriff’s Department in Trinity County today reported a John Doe male body was found in the Trinity River. The victim, they believe from the San Francisco area, apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption. He was only wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a strap-on devise, and an Obama T-shirt. He also had a cucumber shoved up his but. The police thoughtfully removed the Obama T-shirt to spare the victim’s family, when found, any unnecessary embarrassment. Ken C., Dixon
With Age Come Wisdom…
A Dixon guy named Bob is 85 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, ‘Pick me up.’ He looked around and couldn’t see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, ‘Pick me up. He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. Bob said, ‘Are you talking to me?’ The frog said, ‘Yes, I’m talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I’ll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!’ The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket. Shocked, the frog said, ‘What, are you nuts?’ Didn’t you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.’ He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, ‘Nah, at my age I’d rather have a talking frog.’…With age comes wisdom.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
