21st 2011
That’s Life #367 (7-21-11)

Posted under That's Life Columns

Feel Free comments to Email: Tedhick@gmail.com





Local elected government officials have only ONE job and that’s to run a city in the best interest of the majority of those citizens who put them in office and who pay the bills. Why is it so many handily forget their promises after they are elected?




Where Was I?




            I‘m starting to think I am a leader of the “lost generation.”  How did it happen? Where was I when things started going sideways? What has happened to good manners, or any manners; when and where did they go?  What happened to “thank you” and “you’re welcome”? What happened to youngsters calling their elders “sir” and “Mam”; or a gentleman holding a door (or a car door) open for a lady?

            Where in the hell did pay phones and mail boxes go? Sure there are still the few odd ones but not many. When did flaunting your private life and shoving your business in people’s faces on a cell phone become a standard rude behavior?

            Thanks to your governor public schools are now mandated to “teach” gay history in all California schools from kindergarten thru high school? You can thank SF Ass. Man Leno for that one…surprise. Didn’t see that one coming, duh…I should have guessed when they eliminated don’t ask and don’t tell from the military code, then allowed men to marry men and women to marry women…how did all of this happen? I agree with “couples” having certain rights and civil unions for the sake of insurance and legal ramifications. I don’t even care what they do behind closed doors…that’s their business but when you get a flaming liberal from San Francisco to get a bill passed saying they must now teach our children and grandchildren about the whole gay thing…that’s too much.

            Up pops a Black Entertainment Network, black history month, all black beauty pageant, black only this and black only that…what happened to the white counterpart? We’ve become about 50 per cent Hispanic and English is becoming like a second language. There are those who have lived here for generations that still speak their native language only, be it Chinese or whatever…this isn’t racist, its just a fact of life now.

            I’m starting to sound like an old fuddy-duddy but for God’s sake (whoops can’t say that any more either can I?) people, wake up and smell the roses…unless you live near a landfill in Solano County. Another San Francisco elected yahoo has a bill that would bar restrictions on how much out-of-town garbage can be dumped in local landfills…In other words SF can dump unlimited garbage, unlimited, in our county taking up our landfill space…and your garbage company, supported by the majority or your city council, can kill us with their dangerous cast offs and still make yet more millions at our expense…You can thank Ass. Woman Mateo from SF  for that one, surprise, duh. Have I been sleeping through this decade?

            When did guys not shaving and looking like a bum become popular? Or when in the hell did bums become “homeless people” who should be given a home and money because they don’t want to work?

            All of a sudden people of all ages feel it necessary to have their bodies pierced and inked with some ridiculous stuff in even more ridiculous places…how did this start and where was I?

            We have people who don’t have two cents to rub together getting government assistant housing, food and medical care while hard working people are becoming homeless, with no money or food because of the same government.  The same government that has big business sell them their homes for too much money, at too high of a rate, then took their homes, threw them out AND ARE NOW RESELLING THEIR HOMES at half of what is owed on them. I mean selling them to people who couldn’t qualify to buy them when they were new. Where was I?

            How did minority groups representing illegal residents get the power to get your governor to approve lending our money to illegal residents who are students while our own people can’t afford a quality education any more…Not only that, these illegal’s (criminals who have broken state and federal laws) have “rights” and the support of your governor and president…doesn’t mater the majority of Americans, who are paying the bills, oppose these things..Where was I when this was coming down the pike?

            Now there’s a mass influx of Muslims from all over the world flooding into all parts of our country with the support of your president. Some areas are now dominated by them and THEIR laws, right here on our soil, with the backing of your president…know anybody in Minneapolis or Michigan?

            Who decided that spiked hair on otherwise normal men was an asset…to look like a zebra…or duck bill hats being worn backwards and the wearers having to shade their eyes with their hands to see, was a normal thing?

            How about women of all sizes wearing and showing pieces of string underwear and having the fashion sense of a color blinded Goodwill shopper…what happened to nice looking fashion that made ladies look like ladies…another lost term I guess.

            What happened to typewriters, wooden baseball bats, real grass to play on, catching fish you could eat, making private phone calls at home, eating foods that don’t come in a can or any from the fast food junk places, driving the speed limit, stopping at stop signs, going to church, eating together as a family, NOT watching television for one whole night, reading a real book, doing a puzzle, seeing your tax dollars actually benefit you, when ballots were available only in English for citizens of this country,..Where did morals and good judgment go?

            Only about a quarter of our children are living in a two parent household, filthy language has become a norm on television just about any time of the day and we wonder why kids have potty mouths from a young age. What ever happened to waiting until YOU could afford a car or any other item, when did instant gratification without work or effort becomes another norm?  What’s wrong with getting married before you have children?

            This can just go on and on but the point is, people my age lived at the right time and we are leaving a beehive of problems for this next generation…which doesn’t seem to be worried about it because that’s what they have been taught.

            Outlaw the bible and the 10 commandments and “In God we Trust” but promote a welfare society where it pays not to be responsible or productive( other than producing more babies)…and have those that have, provide for those who demand everything given to them free because its their right. WTF?

            Enough preaching, amen brothers and sisters…Wake up and stand up and object to things you feel are wrong or just be part of the overall decay!




Alzheimer’s  Test for Modern  Seniors


How fast can you guess these words

1. F_ _K
2. PU_S_
3.  S_X
4. P_N_S_
5. BOO_S
6. _ _ _NDOM
*See Answers Below:







1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability-The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act

4. Law of Random Numbers- If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation LawIf you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath- When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters-The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result- When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

10. Law of bio mechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11.. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces- The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

16. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance- If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.

17. Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy- As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors’ Law-If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.







 1. FORK


3. SIX




You got all six wrong …didn’t you?  Don’t worry the good news is you

don’t have Alzheimer’s.  You’re just a pervert.





Cell Phone for seniors! 

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