Archive for March, 2012

March 29th 2012
That’s Life©1966 #403 (3-30-12)

Posted under That's Life Columns

Feel Free to Email: Tedhick@gmail.com

 

 

New Super Shrimp Diet

  

            You probably haven’t heard about this yet but there a new super quick diet that allowed me to lose over six pounds in less than 36 hours…Not kidding, it’s the truth. 

            It started Sunday night when we had shrimp from a 5 pound bag of frozen shrimp from Sam’s Club. One of mine tasted and smelled funny and I asked Linda if  her’s appeared to be OK. She said he’s was fine so I ate the disgusting thing. In an hour or so my stomach started to hurt and by bed time early Monday morning I was sick as a dog. I felt like I had to barf but having only done so about once in each of the last six decades I laid there miserable fighting off the feeling. After about five hours the shrimp won and I started my first of 13 visits to worship the porcelain goddess. In about 36 hours I barfed out everything but my lungs and the last four or five trips were really tough since there was pretty much nothing left. Or yeah, the other end joined in on the party too. 

            My loving first wife Linda called Kaiser and when I tried to talk to the first advice nurse I asked if she could issue a euthanasia permit…to which she replied, “Sir, That’s illegal in California.” Later Linda got a doctor on the phone, who when asked the same question said, “My you must really be feeling bad.” But I wasn’t kidding. 

 They figured it was food poisoning and not the flu because I had no fever and asked if I could make it to Kaiser for an IV and anti-vomit shot. I said I didn’t think so. So they had Linda run to Vacaville and pick up anti-puke pills…Here it is on Thursday and I’m still weak and not eating but I did lose over six pounds…funny thing is I was going to go on the Kaiser diet on Monday to lose some weight. 

            So I’ve let the American Legion down with late news releases, my real estate clients with having to have the ever busy Kappel Manager Bill Allard do me a favor and help them and all other personal and business concerns have just gone on hold…but I did lose six pounds in only 36 hours. 

            We still have some of the shrimp left and I sell this miracle weight loss program for $5 each or we are going to use them for catfish bait. 

            I’ve never been so sick and wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy…but I did lose six pounds. This is why the rest of this column is canned stuff…sorry but I have got to go back to bed.

  

Redneck Medical Dictionary

 
Rednecks have the lowest stress rate, because they do not take medical terminology seriously
You are going to die anyway, so live life ….

  

 

Artery

-

The study of paintings
Bacteria

-

Back door to cafeteria
Barium

-

What doctors do when patients die
Benign

-

What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section

-

A neighbourhood in Rome
Cat scan

-

Searching for Kitty
Cauterize

-

Made eye contact with her
Colic

-

A sheep dog
Coma

-

A punctuation mark
Dilate

-

To live long
Enema

-

Not a friend
Fester

-

Quicker than someone else
Fibula

-

A small lie
Impotent

-

Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain

-

Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff

-

A Doctor’s cane
Morbid

-

A higher offer
Nitrates

-

Rates of Pay for Working at Night,
> Normally more money than Days
Node

-

I knew it
Outpatient

-

A person who has fainted
Pelvis

-

Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative

-

A letter carrier
Recovery Room

-

Place to do upholstery
Rectum

-

Nearly killed him
Secretion

-

Hiding something
Seizure

-

Roman Emperor
Tablet

-

A small table
Terminal Illness

-

Getting sick at the airport
Tumour

-

One plus one more
Urine

-

Opposite of you’re out

 

  

 

From The Email Bag 

 

Ted: Capitalism Akbar: After reading the headlines today about the US soldier who shot up Afghanistan civilians, I couldn’t help noticing an irony.  There is all this clamor to try this guy quickly and execute him, never mind his having suffered a traumatic brain injury.  Yet this Major Hasan, who shot up Fort Hood while screaming Allah Akbar, still hasn’t stood trial, and they are still debating whether he was insane, even with the clear evidence regarding his motive: slay as many infidels as possible.  So we have a guy in a war zone that cracks, and he must be executed immediately.  But this Muslim psychiatrist who was stateside in a nice safe office all day murders 13, wounds 29 of our own guys, and they try to argue the poor lad suffered post-traumatic stress syndrome, from listening to real soldiers who had actual battle experience.  Two and a half years later, they still haven’t tried the murderous bastard. Mike Faubion 

Ted: I sent this because you are old enough (?) to remember Rita Hayworth from her movies in the 1940s.  Then, in 1977, the movie Saturday Night Fever was released…and the Bee Gees wrote the songs for the movie…including “Stayin’ Alive”!    Great song!   Here, Rita, Fred Astair and other great dancers of the ’40s are shown with the dancers of the mid 70s (using modern video technology), and the rhythmsand lyrics of  Stayin’ Alive are just unbelievably correct for both periods of time!  Go to:     

Rita Hayworth Is Stayin’ Alive – YouTube

 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz3CPzdCDws  P.C.Dixon

  

Hi Ted, We recently received an email about wasp spray and when following the link, came to your address. We are residing in South Africa and was wondering if you would be able to tell us where to get hold of it? Kind regards, Frank Cloet.  (I emailed him back and gave him the answer). 

 Hey Ted, Watch the council meeting. Your friend Dane (Bassenette currently Dixon’s Vice Mayor) has a blue tooth attached to his ear. I guess he doesn’t want to miss an important call. XX, Dixon

  

Proofreading is a dying artwouldn’t you say?

 

Ted: Thought you would like these…This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was wrong.

  

  • Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter 

*Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No kidding, really? Ya think? 

*Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that’s taking things a bit far!

*Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

*Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s!
 
*Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

*War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

*If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!

*Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

*Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

*Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?

*Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!

*New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren’t they fat enough?!
 
*Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That’s what he gets for eating those beans!

*Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

*Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
 
*Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

*And the winner is…. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?

  

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K

 

                        After being married for forty years, Linda asked me to describe her. I looked at her for a while…then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.
                      “She asks…”What does that mean?    I said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot, and Kind.  She smiled happily and said…”Oh, that’s so lovely… What about I, J, K?” I said, “I’m Just kidding…The swelling in my eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving my testicles. Huum…she did fix the shrimp!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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March 29th 2012
LAKE BERRYESSA BITE WIDE OPEN

Posted under Rich Reeser's Outdoor Column

 

 

While most people know enough to stay in out of the rain I choose to go fishing. The Best Bass Tournament Trail had their opening tournament in the Delta / Wine region up at Lake Berryessa. Being on staff and also fishing the circuit meant that my team partner Kevin Ryan and I had to head for the lake early as check in time started at 4:30am. In the early morning hours there were plenty of stars in the sky. Knowing that the forecast for the day was rain we hoped the weatherman missed his mark. Blast off was at 7:00am and as it started to get light the stars had been replaced with overcast skies. By 7:15am the rain started and never quit. By noon it was really coming down and it never let up. From what I have been told from those here in Dixon it didn’t start raining here until about 6:00pm…..it must have followed us home.

 Raining or not the tournament was underway and there were fish to be caught. The wind was blowing pretty steady to start the day and the forecast predicted wind gust up to 26 mph. With this in mind we chose to stay and fish the narrows. The main body can be real nasty when it blows as my partner and I had found out the hard way. A couple of years ago we were fishing the north end of the lake, but we were back in a cove out of the wind and hadn’t noticed the wind increasing on the main body. Come time to head back for weigh in we came out onto the main body to find 5 to 6 foot rollers. About half way back across the lake going as slow as we could on pad we stuffed a wave and filled the boat with water. Sitting waist deep in water we were now just crawling along with the bilge pumps working as hard as they could, it took about 20 minutes to pump enough water out so we could get back on pad. Thank goodness I had a Ranger Boat because they don’t sink. And because of this we chose to fished the narrows.

 Of course the weatherman was wrong about the wind and it died, which made the entire lake available for fishing. The bite was red hot all day. Within the first hour we had our limit of 5 fish in the boat and it was time to start culling up with better fish. My first fish of the day was a nice 3+ pounder on a brown and orange jig. As the day went on the bite never let up. Kevin and I caught over 20 bass through out the day with our biggest bass going 4.33 lbs. A previous tournament the week before the winners weighed in 19.6 pounds. At the end of the day Kevin and I weighed in 15.69 pounds. Not great weight, but good weight for Berryessa and we were sure we had to be in the money with our weight. Well as the weigh in progressed the weights increased and by the time it was over the winners weighed in 29.95 lbs. a huge 5 fish limit for Berryessa. Second thru sixth were all in the 20 to 25lb range. From there was a couple 19+ lb bags and so on. In order to cash a check you need right at 17lbs. a lot of great weights. I have seen many tournaments on Berryessa where 13 and 14 pounds win. The winners got away without me getting a photo of them, but pictured is a photo Kevin and myself with our 5 fish limit and boats staging for the blast off . Also here are the results of the top 5 finishers. Kevin and I finished in 21st place, 5 spots out of the money.

Place

Angler

Angler

Total Fish

Big Fish

Total Weight

Winnings

1 Konrad L Rupp James E Totten 5 8.15 29.95 $3,370.00
2 Joseph Durling Anthony Crivelli 5 6.20 24.49 $1,735.00
3 Jeff Asturias Dan Sweat 5 5.59 23.30 $925.00
4 Cliff King Matt Monaghan 5 5.69 22.18 $655.00
5 Steven C Pernkert Cory J Schell 5 5.71 21.70 $400.00

 

 If you are ready to catch a lot of bass the bite is on right now. There are a variety of baits that will work. We caught several fish while drop shotting with morning dawn, slowly dragging jigs (brown), on the new umbrella rig (aka Alabama rig), spinner baits (white & chartreuse) and crank baits (red craw). I would suggest whatever bait you have the most confidence in is what you should be throwing. This would be a great time to take a kid fishing as well as they are biting. FYI if you launch out of Pleasure Cove I would stay in Wragg Canyon just for the fact you can catch plenty of fish right there without burning a bunch of gas running all over the lake. Good luck and tight lines.

 

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March 29th 2012
Excruciating

Posted under That's Life Columns

As with most things, the nature of politics and your perception of it is dependent on the outcomes.  In this world of relativism, where some people contend that nothing is wrong or right inherently, many of us believe that “we all have the best intentions for our city” despite doing things that have quite negative impacts from the perspective of logical reality.  If you beat a mule with a stick, be prepared to be kicked, because in his world he only realizes the impact and not your intent. 

While some would find that the outcomes of three meetings during the last week were “excruciating”, or perhaps having to sit through the “flailing of the mule” was, others would simply say it is proof that a certain group has been right all along with their assessment of the situation.  The details are the interesting points at this time, rather than the major issues.

The library board met on Friday in a supposedly emergency situation regarding a demand from the Solano County Grand Jury for financial records and fiscal plans for this year and next to assure the “financial integrity of the library district”.  First and foremost, this demand is a public document and had no details of any accusations.  It also did not identify whether or not this was a countywide audit of library districts or strictly focused on Dixon.  Once again, the library board of trustees and their librarian can’t quite get the concept that they aren’t entitled to hide this type of material from the public.

While I have the greatest respect for Irina Okhremtchouk, Joe DiPaola, and Gildardo Piñon, I am beginning to lose patience with their continuing refusal to make public documents public without having to go through the process of contacting legal counsel, at a large cost to the public, just to certify this fact.  I would probably have included Guy Garcia in that group but he is only beginning to join the “club” in making decisions benefitting the community rather than staff.  Herb Cross didn’t bother to attend the meeting although I did hear that both his car and the mayor’s were tentatively identified as being outside of Bud’s during this meeting.  You have to have your priorities.

Librarian Gregg Atkins was also absent from this meeting.  On top of the refusal by Ms. O to provide the documentation at the meeting, a subsequent request to Atkins was delayed by his need to ask county counsel whether or not this is a public document.  After 25 years plus of doing his job, you would think he would know what is or isn’t.  I think they all do but the real reasons are different for denial.

For Atkins this is just one more attack on “his” institution.  Much as Roger Halberg attempted to hide his actions from the public and was forced by the courts to release demanded information, Atkins doesn’t particularly want any additional scrutiny on how he has spent funds and what plans are for future expenditures.  Why should he care?  He is leaving and is of retirement age?

For some reason the board members have this odd idea that hiding public business from the public who they serve and the public who demanded the investigation somehow protects or advances the public’s interest.  They need to think about that.  They have as big a problem with how this library district has been run as anyone.  Yet somehow they think the rest of us aren’t quite bright enough to handle accusatory information?  They should go to work for the Federal government.  I hear the Feds still don’t think the American people can “handle” what they know: “ET” never went home.

With this aside, the board made two other absurd attempts to address the library “commission” and their potential actions regarding Gregg Atkins.  They “directed” the commission through their new attorney not to give further compensation to Atkins and to place him on “paid leave” during the financial investigation.  The board does not have the ability to force this action and was told so at their meeting.  So was this a wise use of funds for attorney’s fees?

I believe it would have suited the same purpose for the board to have drafted a letter on their own to accomplish the same goal: putting the recalcitrant commission on notice.  However, having a letter from an attorney does carry an intimidation factor.  Simply the fact that the board acquired the services of a new legal firm should have been enough to make the commission aware that their actions contrary to the desires of the superior board would not be tolerated 

You simply comply with the Grand Jury request.  If Atkins gets in the way and there is a complaint from the Grand Jury to that effect, you fire him for cause or allow charges to be brought against him.  The simplest solution to this whole mess is what I suggested at this meeting: shutter the library for the next three months.  This removes Atkins and his puppet commission while allowing the Board to go ahead with an employment search and to address policy defects. 

So, no, it was not a wise use of funds.  But when you aren’t acting from a position of confidence, you will spend when you shouldn’t …

* * * * *

The Dixon Solano Water Authority meeting on Monday night was “excruciating” to some, while very productive to others.  Once again, we had the flim flam show of Dave “I failed you again” Mansfield, the managing director/consultant/obfuscator of Solano Irrigation District attempting to give just enough financial information to address my three year old question as to where $4.4 million in cash went that had been “expensed” as depreciation.

 

Depreciation is a non-cash expense.  That is it is an amortization of capital costs which the government allows you to take each year as an expense rather than the entire amount in one year.  To make it simpler, say you bought a car for $5,000 to be used in your business.  The government says you can depreciate it over 5 years.  Each year, you are allowed to take $1,000 as an “expense” although you spent no money after the initial purchase.  Each year, you have that additional $1,000 in your pocket but your books show a “loss”.  You can spend the $1,000, put it away for buying a replacement vehicle in 5 years, or just hold it in the bank.

Your mayor can’t quite grasp that concept.  Guess they didn’t teach basic accounting in prison … or for that matter, anywhere in government where accountability is a foreign term.  I don’t think either he or Robert Hansen, the SID board president, were too happy when I asked them to explain where to missing money was.  After all, they had the same information that was provided to me.  Aren’t they concerned about the $2.2 million still missing?  Evidently not, as Jack just tells us to move on.

Evidently it was more than Councilman Dane Besneatte could tolerate when the consultant came back with yet another increase in water rates after he had agreed to raise rates by 66.67% and 4.1% two months ago.  Now they wanted rates to go up by 67%, 10%, and 8% to meet criteria established in the Joint Powers Agency agreement.  Rick Fooler saw the balking of Besneatte and paid no attention to the mayor’s bleating that we could vote whatever increase into place that the board wanted to.  Rick made the motion to start the rate increase process using the amounts initially proposed.  Then a funny thing happened.

The vote of the Dixon Council portion of the board was reversed as Besneatte joined Bogue and Ceremello and two members of the SID board finally saw the light that this agency refuses to answer pertinent questions of board members with JD Kluge and Bob Bishop voting against the rate increase.  The mayor was quick to point out that the motion failed because of the super-majority voting requirement for approval.  What Jack didn’t want to admit was that the motion failed purely because it couldn’t garner a simple majority vote.

 

Batchelor continues to whine about being concerned for the citizens in providing water to their taps.  I wonder why he isn’t concerned about raising the average bill $10 per month or more?  Maybe $10 doesn’t mean much to Jack or his circle of friends who he is happy isn’t my circle of friends.  For those of us just barely making it by, $10 here and $10 there begins to add up.  For people with larger families and higher water usage, that $10 becomes $20 or more.

I found it hilarious to listen to Dane beating up on the consultants and the basic flawed premise of her rate study.  He continued to ask if she had looked at expenses to ascertain their validity or possible reduction.  She replied “We weren’t instructed to do that”.  Of course not.  You and your cohorts came in saying “we are just looking for a way to justify rate increases”.  I am looking for a way to be responsible in spending the public’s money and so is Dane.

Was it responsible to increase administrative expenses by 100% through a phony “cost allocation plan” designed to protect Warren Salmons’ bloated salaries and pension scheme?  Was it responsible for SID to buy a $25 million building when their old digs would have sufficed.  Is it believable to listen to Glen Grant respond to Thom Bogue’s question about refunding some of the “stand by” charges after SID determined they couldn’t justify the existing scheme of a 50-50 split while not charging any of their rural customers for this service?

Grant attempted to deny that those charges were fraudulent.  So why were they changed according to Grant?  It was just something SID did on a whim, having nothing to do with a proper allocation of the charges.  Bull.  This is the same nonsense as charging Dixon home owners a tax assessment for maintaining a dam and water conveyance structures for supplying water to agricultural operations when those home owners get no benefit from either as our water is derived from deep water wells accessing water from aquifers more than likely recharged from different sources such as the Sierra watershed.

As one person put it to me, everyone knows SID is crooked and has been for years.  Well, it looks like their days are numbered in more ways than one.  Why Fooler continues to vote with the status quo when he sees the obvious is beyond me.  Neither he nor Jack are doing one damn thing to correct the situation.

Isn’t it about time you got beyond who is doing the complaining and evaluate the truth in the allegations?  Do you work for the staffs of these organizations or do you work for the public?  I think we all know the answer to those questions.

Fat cat bureaucrats have a hard time changing their stripes …

* * * * *

A final note: the following night at the council meeting, the mayor attempted to regain some credibility by announcing that he had personally gone to an ABAG meeting to get a “priority development area” for Dixon.  This was opposite of testimony given to their planning committee by citizens from Dixon.  Jack couldn’t care less what the majority of residents in Dixon want.  He just knows what he wants.

The same group gave a presentation to the Solano Transportation Authority in an attempt to stop the foolish spending of millions of dollars on the train station boondoggle.  So alerted, he ran down to OBAG (One Bay Area Government), the pseudonym for ABAG which truly defines their purpose, and got Mark Green, a former president of the organization, to back his demand to pull Dixon and Benecia out of the deferred group for further scrutiny.

This isn’t “bold leadership”.  It is backroom Jack leadership.  Remember that during this next election…

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March 22nd 2012
That’s Life # 403 (3-23-12)

Posted under That's Life Columns

©1966

 

Feel Free to Email: Tedhick@gmail.com

 

 

“Fathom the hypocrisy of a government that requires every citizen to prove they are insured…but not everyone must prove they are a citizen.” BEN STEIN

 

Four Dance Groups to Perform Saturday

 

 

Four different dance groups with Dixon girls included in their ranks will give a benefit performance Saturday night at the Dixon High School Performing Arts Theatre at 7 pm. The girls, seen above in practice, come from the Dixon High School Dance Team which will benefit from the proceeds. The Dixon Dance Studio, Applegate Dance Studio from Davis and Galena Street East from Sacramento will all give performances. Tickets are $8 in advance at Dixon Dance and $10 at the door. I recently took the photo of the group getting ready.

 

Friday Night Legion Live

 

            This, the ninth straight week of the local American Legion Post will be presenting live entertainment Friday night in the form of a country/classic rock group, Roadhouse 5, from Woodland who will play from 8 pm till midnight. The doors and food concession open at 6 and the cover charge is only $5. A full bar is available. This Friday’s county/classic rock group plays both great listening and dancing music and is a change in style from the preceding eight weeks. I hear Patsy Cline is a specialty. If you haven’t been to the Veteran’s Hall on North First street come on down and give it a try…I’ll bet you like it. Linda and I will be on the door once again. The photo shows them in concert in Woodland.

 

Not My Words/Fault

            I caught some flak for last week’s front page story on “the veteran of the year” front page story in the IV. I didn’t write it and the information provided to the paper was supplied by VFW Commander Brock McMahon…so if you have a beef take it up with him or Paul Jones himself.

            Also had people wondering where the photos I took of the “business of the year” Curves owners, the ambassador of the year, Carol from Atkinson’s Storage and the special award to the Chamber’s Carol went. They “went” to the paper and may appear this week. I took them, and submitted them, and I’m guessing space may have been an issue that issue.

From The Email Bag… 

 

Ted: In conversations with people I am told that Dane, (Bassenette your city councilman) during council meetings is playing with the Ipad the taxpayers gave him thus he is not paying attention to the citizens addressing the council or to his colleagues’ comments. One person commented, “At least we do not have to listen to his tirades.” However, it is very rude! Rick (Fuller another council person) does that too but not as bad as Dane. You need to attend a council meeting and observe.  Name withheld for fear of retribution.

(Ted: So that’s one of the things he’s doing out of sight of the little people down below…Huum… He’s fiddling around while Rome burns…)

 

CWA Dinner

            The CWA dinner is coming up Saturday night and if you don’t attend any other sportsman’s benefit dinner go to this one to help them out.  The California Waterfowl Association is for the folks in California. It looks like they will have 20 + guns available in drawings, auctions, etc. Get your tickets for the March 24 dinner, to be held at the fairgrounds, by calling Gerald Depew of Dixon at 916-813-5211 or Travis Morgan at 707-249-3292 (or go to Guns and Gear in Vacaville)…and I hear you will be able to get tickets at the door.

 

  

Make Sure You Check State “Megan’s Law” site On A Regular Basis…

Know who and what lives in Your neighborhood.

 

 USDA Warns of Fraudulent Letters

   USDA officials learned late Friday afternoon, March 16th, 2012, that fraudulent letters are being sent by FAX to individuals and businesses in at least five states.  The letters purportedly come from a USDA procurement officer and seek personal information.  These letters are false and in no case should a recipient respond with personal and financial information. The fraudulent letters bear USDA’s logo and seal and are signed by an individual identified as “Frank Rutenberg” using a title of “Senior Procurement Officer”. Letters have been received by FAX in Alabama, California, Nebraska, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, but may have also been sent to other states. Recipients should not respond and should not supply the requested information. USDA is investigating this matter through the Office of the Inspector General.

 

 

Lovely Story

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You  know what? You have been with me through all the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here. 
When my health started failing, you were still by my side …
You know what Linda?” “What dear?” she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.  “I’m beginning to think you’re bad luck.”

 

 

Devout Moslem & The Cabby

 

 

A devout Arab Moslem enters a taxi in Davis.  Once seated, he asks the good old boy cab driver to turn off the radio because he must not hear music as decreed by his religion. He says in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music…which is music of the infidels and there was certainly no radio. So the cab driver politely switches off the radio, stops the cab and opens the back door. The Arab asks him: “What are you doing, man”? The cabby answers:  “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so get out and wait for a friggin camel”.

 

 

Thanks to whoever sent the door mat…you sure you don’t have it backwards?

 

     7 degrees of Blond

 

(I know some are old but folks keep requesting them and

Sending me more. I have several dozen more in the wings)

 

 

 FIRST DEGREE: A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said ‘How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!’ and hung up.  The husband said, ‘Who was that?’ The wife answered, ‘I don’t know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.’

SECOND DEGREE:Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, ‘Hmm, this person looks familiar.’ The second blonde says, ‘Here, let me see!’ So, the first blonde hands her the compact. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, ‘You dummy, it’s me!’

THIRD DEGREE:A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, ‘No, honey, don’t do it!’  The blonde replies, ‘Shut up, you’re next!’

FOURTH DEGREE:  A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, ‘Go ahead, ask me. I know ‘em all.’ A friend says, ‘OK, what’s the capital of  Wisconsin ?’ The blonde replies, ‘Oh, that’s easy. .. its W.’

FIFTH DEGREE: Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? A: ‘Is it mine?’

SIXTH DEGREE:Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, ‘That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .’

SEVENTH DEGREE: Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, ‘I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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March 22nd 2012
Nominations Now Being Accepted for Fisheries Restoration Grant Program Peer Review Committee

Posted under That's Life Columns

 Rich Reeser’s Weekly Newspaper column

 

 

 

The California Department of Fish and Game (DFG) Fisheries Restoration Grant Program (FRGP) is seeking nominations to fill two vacancies on the FRGP Peer Review Committee (PRC). 

Pursuant to the Public Resources Code, section 6217, members of the PRC are appointed by the director of DFG to provide advice, oversight and recommendations regarding grant funding priorities for the FRGP. Seven of the PRC’s 14 representatives are recommended by the California Advisory Committee on Salmon and Steelhead Trout. The remaining seven represent the following interests: one representative from the agriculture industry, one representative from the timber industry, one representative of public water agency interests, one academic or research scientist with expertise in anadromous fisheries restoration and three county supervisors from coastal counties (the county supervisors are recommended by the California State Association of Counties). Because the FRGP only awards grants to applicants within coastal counties of California, all representatives must reside in or represent interests in coastal counties in which salmon and steelhead exist.  

 

Currently, the agriculture and public water agency representative seats are vacant. DFG will accept nominations from the general public for these positions through June 30. Appointed representatives will serve for four years, starting with the PRC meeting in the fall of 2012.

 

To nominate a representative for either the agriculture or public water agency seat, send a nomination letter to Patty Forbes, FRGP Coordinator, 830 S St., Sacramento, CA 95811. Nomination letters should include the resume of the candidate and verification that they represent coastal counties in which salmon and steelhead exist.

 

California Outdoors Q&As
 
Ensuring Your Fowl Don’t Become Foul

 
Question: I hope you can answer my question about cleaning birds. My friends and I went quail hunting a few weeks ago, and it took us 45 minutes to hike into the area where we hunt. We flushed a large covey of birds, shot two and then continued to hunt singles for several hours. We picked up a few more birds for the day and hiked back out. By the time I was able to clean my birds, several hours had passed. The birds had been in my vest. Are they still safe to eat after being shot several hours before and then not cleaned right away? If not, how do you clean a bird and continue to hunt when you are so far from the truck and any ice chests? My friend says you can also freeze the birds before cleaning them, then thaw and clean them all at once. Is this safe? Can I do this with all birds such as pheasants, too? (Jim L., Santa Maria)
 
Answer: As I’m sure you are aware, the most important thing to do with game is to keep it clean and dry, and to cool it down ASAP. DFG Upland Game Bird Stamp Program Coordinator Karen R. Fothergill says she can’t promise the birds are still safe to eat. She points out that most of us spend several hours in a day out hunting and by the time we get our birds home, many hours have passed. If you refrigerate them as soon as you return from the field, and it’s the same day you are hunting, it is likely they will be fine and ok to consume. However, if they are left in the back of a truck in the heat, then you may be taking a chance. Small birds like quail will cool on their own (somewhat) much faster than a large goose will.
 
Since ideal handling is not always an option, preparing for the worst situation is always the best plan. Hunters should keep an ice chest with cold packs or sealed bags of ice handy to quickly cool down their game birds without adding moisture. Moisture and warm temperatures create the perfect environment for bacteria to grow.
 
If you are concerned about the birds spoiling, you can always gut the birds immediately upon taking possession of them. This will allow them to cool quickly.  Remember that you are responsible for proper game care, and letting the birds go to waste is a violation. DFG advises that you do everything you can to cool your game quickly so you can enjoy your harvest.

 
When fishing gear becomes dangerous

 

Question: Does DFG have any regulations restricting anglers from placing their fishing gear in an unsafe manner? For example, a person throws their line out into the water and then places their fishing rod back in a position to where the line stretching to the water runs across an area where runners and walkers using the same beach could become entangled. Does DFG have jurisdiction over this? If not, can the practice of having active rods placed far back from the waterline be banned via a city ordinance, or is the region below the high tide line only covered by state regulations? If someone is seriously hurt by such a fishing practice, does the person fishing have any civil or criminal liability? (Len N.)
 
Answer: DFG regulations do not address these issues. 

 
Dead farm-raised trout for bait in lakes and streams?

 

Question: Is it legal to use dead farm-raised trout for bait in inland waters? When I read the regulations it seems like only “live trout” is called out. Costco has farm-raised rainbow trout for sale at a great price and I was thinking it might make great catfish bait for my kids. (Marcus)
 
Answer: No. Trout may not be used for bait (California Code of Regulations Title 14, sections 4.00-4.30).
 
California state duck stamps for collectors

 

Question: I inherited two sets of California state duck stamps. This year, the DFG converted to plastic paper stamps and I purchased one for my hunting license. If a duck stamp for the state is still recognized, how does a stamp collector obtain one?
 
Answer: Any person who purchases a California Duck Validation and/or Upland Game Bird Validation is entitled to receive a collectible California Duck Stamp and/or Upland Game Bird Stamp upon request. To have your collectible stamps mailed to you, please log into DFG’s Automated License Data System and submit a request. Step-by-step instructions and information are available at www.dfg.ca.gov/licensing/collectorstamps/. Collectible stamps will be at the bottom of the screen on the 2011 hunting license selection page.

 Rich Reeser

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March 22nd 2012
You Only Embarrass Yourself

Posted under That's Life Columns

 

 

Meetings, meetings, and more meetings.  It seems that I need to cut back a bit as something is always going on somewhere, including out of our county, that needs or deserves my attention.  I do need to comment on two I recently attended to demonstrate exactly what happens when the public isn’t forceful in demanding their rights and just how difficult it is to initiate change.

There was a Tuesday night meeting, albeit brief, of the Solano Irrigation District.  These clowns have yet to realize that they were elected to represent the public.  Board president Robert Hansen, who I have been told is feared by the people in the division he represents, continues to treat the public and their potential input as an inconvenience to accomplishing district business.

Hansen refuses to call for public comment during any item on the agenda unless you have filled out a speaker card. Although not calling it a requirement, it is a de facto requirement as he does not otherwise attempt to elicit speakers from the audience.  That is a violation of the Brown Act.

I don’t know how many of you attend our council meetings, but when have you ever seen the Dixon city council not ask for public comment during a public hearing?  Why bother holding a public hearing if you aren’t going to ask for input?  Let me correct that.  Hansen did ask the one person in the audience who lived in the area under discussion if he had anything to say.  What the hell is that?  The rest of us don’t count?

Hansen didn’t open the public hearing, didn’t close the public hearing, or even act like it was a public hearing.  Paul Minasian, SID’s excuse for an attorney, sat silently through all of this.  Another embarrassment …

But this is the way things are done by this agency.  Also on the agenda was the approval of a contract for the next district manager.  The salary being offered is $168,000.  Currently Cary Keaten, the board’s selection, is the city manager of Lathrop and has been since 2009.  His compensation was listed at over $180,000 in 2009 but it is not clear whether that was total or base pay.

Again I must mention that this is an agency complaining about financial insolvency while giving extremely high compensation to their upper management.  A position that saw salaries from $100,000 to $110,000 under Bob Isaac and Suzanne Butterball was escalated to approximately $175,000 in base pay for David Mansfield.  Now we are seeing a $7,000 cut which is around four percent.  But is it?

Not only do these goobers intend to keep Dave on the payroll at $240,000 while he consults but also after Keaten comes on board so he can indoctrinate, I mean “train” given that is the word that was used, him into the every day operation of their facility.  On top of this we have “golden boy” Paul Fuchslin still sitting in the unnecessary “assistant manager” position at around $140,000.  Yep, a well run, well thought out, organization and financial plan.

It was amazing to hear Bob Bishop complain about cell tower and bill board sales as a visual assault on SID lands as they were estimated to have the potential of bringing in over $100,000 per year, while the others on the Board were only seeing dollar signs.  Perhaps it was more amazing when Bishop, late in the game, protested filling the manager position instead of saving money.  There are minimal savings when Mansfield’s consulting contract calls for a $144,000 minimum salary plus rent and utility payments on his residence.

The concern over the district manager’s ability to hire and fire employees without the consent of the board seems to be over as it only got a brief mention.  What this crew of board members doesn’t get, or maybe could care less about, is the fact that their management is, not has, but continues to use union busting tactics in firing employees without cause.  Their union president, Mike Hamilton, became a target shortly after he took over the role from Mike Ferrari.  Hamilton’s complaint documents additional employees who are officers of the union who were either laid off or harassed.  Coincidence?

Probably the most telling of another case of miscreant mismanagement was when one of the union reps got up during public comment and told the board that a decision in this case is going to be rendered by the people making the accusations against Hamilton.  The rep stated that normally you have a neutral arbitrator.  In this case, it will be Mansfield and Kevin King, SID’s operations manager.

I noticed that I was getting dirty looks from both King and SID’s other labor relations person, Sally Donez-Lacy.  Now why would they be upset with me?  Could it be that I reported on King’s similar event of buying employees beers and drinking with them at Bud’s while he was driving an SID vehicle, a situation that got a lower hierarchical positioned person fired?  Just because that occurred while the board was considering finalists for the vacant district manager position gives me more credit than I deserve.

As for Donez-Lacy, I have never had any direct interaction with her.  Perhaps she doesn’t like what I have to say at their Board meetings or my refusal to submit to their illegal protocol when it comes to addressing any item on their agenda.  More likely she doesn’t like my suggestions to eliminate upper management positions rather than those of the people doing the work.  I would suggest that you don’t want to have any direct involvement with me, Sally.  It wouldn’t be pretty.

With all of that being said, I think it is a shame that this company doesn’t value its employees.  It is apparent that in an attempt to preserve higher salaries, the actual people who accomplish the service are attacked.  This company is extremely close to being attacked on a number of fronts.

Perhaps it is a good idea for Mansfield to leave after raping the company.  After all, other than moving them into a Taj Mahal of a new building, he has accomplished little other than failure on a number of fronts and embarrassing the organization.

And you can thank the deaf and dumb board who refuses to see for all of this …

* * * * *

 

The Monday night meeting of the library commission was a bruiser.  It did prove one thing to me.  The council did not make a mistake in not hiring Rebecca Craig as the new city manager.  Her performance has been most enlightening, and embarrassing, in this minor role of library commission president.

To begin with, Craig has acted as a useful idiot or personal conduit for Gregg Atkins who lost a variety of puppets on the library commission as the heat has been turned up.  It was interesting to see her at a library board meeting confronting Irina Okhremtchouk over her authority to hire outside counsel.  The similarity to Greeta Galindo, the old commission chief marionette, is astonishing.  Neither of these two grasp the simple concept that they are members of an advisory board and not elected officials responsible to the public.  In fact, their allegiance is only to Atkins 

It is hard to criticize Craig for treating Okhremtchouk in exactly the same manner in which Irina refused to respond to an issue brought up during public comment.  Retaliatory egotism does little to engender future confidence in a reconstituted commission.  This is one reason I oppose Herb Cross having any say at all in who will be on a new commission if that is the direction the Board eventually goes after solving the problems created by years of bad old boy mismanagement.  If he had his choice, he would have Craig right back up there, embarrassing the board and herself in front of a community that now sees who the “problem children” of our city really are.

It amazes me that Mr. Atkins continues to take the punishment he does from the podium.  He should be commended simply for his fairly consistent disposition while being verbally assaulted.  Professionalism is to be appreciated, even though his performance is not.

The chutzpah of Atkins to ask for more compensation is baffling.  Evidently he believes his control over this commission is so great that he can’t be stopped.  The only redeeming obstruction to his plan is that any agreement must come before the public for comment before a vote.  I would suggest to Ms. Olivia Stringer that if she wants respect there is a requirement, in my book at least, that it be earned.  In other words, you don’t get respect because of a title or position.  At least she vocalized what I am sure most past and present commissioners feel, which is the lack of respect.

All of you as commissioners need to come to the realization that your highest duty is to make the correct decision no matter who is involved.  If all of the complaints against Atkins were unfounded despite any amount of them, then you as a body should vindicate him.  If any one of the complaints had merit, even if a number of others could be shown to be faulty, that one complaint needs to be acted upon.  Instead you defend a person who is indefensible simply because of his position of authority.  You are the same as the Nazis who claimed they were simply following orders.  Either you know right from wrong or you have no reason being part of an oversight body.

Finally it would appear that Mr. DiPaola has given no credence to my criticism of him usurping the role of the commissioners as a liaison.  It is still my recommendation that he at least give the commission the opportunity to respond and make their own demands before he does.  Joe, you are not a commissioner.  You are a liaison.

The position of liaison encompasses bringing information back and forth from the library board and commission.  It involves bringing to the attention of the commissioners items, issues, or ideas they may have not contemplated.  It does not allow giving direction, especially on quasi-judicial items, which would disqualify you from voting when these items come before the superior board.  I was extremely careful not to do that when I was a liaison but my ability to ask the appropriate thought provoking “questions” got me banned by the three stooges of the council at that time.

Again, I appreciate the fire in the belly which I didn’t think I would ever see, but there are better ways of handling yourself.  It works better than embarrassment …

 

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March 15th 2012
That’s Life #401 (3-16-12)

Posted under That's Life Columns

Feel Free to Email: Tedhick@gmail.com

This is what I really look like according to the artist that drew my picture last Friday at the opening of the new Chase Bank in the Safeway shopping plaza…pretty much nailed it huh?

 

Support Local Dance

 

The second annual “Dance for Dixon”  show will be held Saturday, March 24th at the Dixon High School theater at  7 pm. Tickets at the door will be $10 but can be purchased in advance for $8 at the Dixon Dance Studio.

The special dance event will combine the talents of various programs like the high school’s dance team, Dixon Dance Studio, Applegate Dance Company and Galena Street East dance group.

All proceeds for the event go to support local dance programs and a minimum of 50 per cent will go to support the Dixon High Dance Team.

Take the family and go if you get a chance you might be surprised by all of the young talent Dixon. These girls take a lot of time out of their busy lives to spend countless hours practicing. Their hard work and dedication to better themselves should be rewarded…they do the work; all you have to do is go see the beautiful results.

 

 

Hunter Safety This Weekend

            Running out of time to sign up for the California “hunter safety” program this weekend (Sat. & Sun.) sponsored by the Dixon Game Club. If you want to get a hunting license in Ca. (and elsewhere) you must have a hunter safety certificate. The only way to get one is to take this two-day course and pass the test. For more information call the volunteers at 678-9155 and leave your name…its only $10.

 

 

Pre/Post St. Paddy’s Day

            Start the holiday weekend off the right way and come to the first ever Friday Night Legion Live Karaoke with a live band night. That’s right. You can come and sing backed up by the live rock and roll band Kiss N Tell for their encore performance in Dixon. It will be held from 8 pm until midnight, tonight, Friday. For the $5 cover charge you can fulfill your dream of singing with a live rock and roll band…you can also eat (and drink if you are old enough). To get in you must be over 18 and to drink 21. The Veteran’s Hall at 1305 N. First Street…see you there for a fun time! Wonder if Jill will show up? 

St. Patty’s Day is tomorrow and after a night out you might want to go by the Veteran’s Hall on Sunday from 10 am to 1 pm for the last free brunch for you and your family. Yep, that’s what I said, “FREE.” That’s bacon, eggs, sausage, potatoes, biscuit and gravy and juice or coffee…Free as a promotion for the following weeks when the Sunday morning charge will only be $6. We went last week and it was good…and it was free, like this week with no strings attached, which made it even better.

 

 

            You may have heard about “the kiss” at the Dixon Chamber’s annual dinner last week. When it was about over they ask the many former “citizens of the year” to get together for a group photo. If you look on the far right you will see former city councilwoman and citizen of the year actually kissing some guy. She said, with the help of a little vino, “Let’s do something to get them talking.”  We did, and they did. My first wife Linda was laughing so hard she missed the first two pictures and it was only Brianna Boyd, Editor of the Tribune that was able to snap this jewel on the third attempt…No tongue. I didn’t think any of the hundreds of people watching would notice; apparently some did. You have to know the history between us to appreciate the event…kissing and making up wasn’t thought to be an option. Politics do indeed make strange bedfellows.

BTY congrats to Kay Caylor (far left) holding the flowers for the well deserved 2011 Citizen of the Year award!

 

 

 

CWA Dinner

 

Tens of thousands of snow and speckled belly geese are gathered in rural Dixon this week eating the heck out of clover in the pasture putting on weight before heading to their breeding grounds in the arctic. Take the family and drive out on Liberty Island or Levy Roads, south of town and take a gander. Or they may have moved to the Yolo Bypass by the time this comes out. Don’t harass them because the DFG is monitoring their presence. I shot these photos Tuesday.

 

           

 The CWA dinner is coming up shortly and if you don’t attend any other sportsman’s benefit dinner go to this one to help them out. They give for free what DU charges for and the California Waterfowl Association is for California. Looks like they will have 20 + guns available in drawings, auctions, etc. Get your tickets for the March 24 dinner, to be held at the fairgrounds, by calling Gerald Depew of Dixon at 916-813-5211 or Travis Morgan at 707-249-3292.

 

 

Plan On Dying

 

 

            I felt kind of bad when I heard a woman, reacting to something I off handedly recommended, almost got laid away when looking for help with a burial plan. Let me back up. I saw this flyer in the Vacaville newspaper saying it was offering help to Veterans and their spouses for burial at the National Cemetery in Dixon. It sounded good so I, without checking it out, took the flyer to the American Legion and posted in on the bulletin board…I mean who would publically advertise “help” and then profiteer off of a veteran’s demise?

            Back to the women…She checked with this company and they reportedly quoted her $7,000 for a funeral which included being buried at the National Cemetery. The problem is it cost veteran and their spouses nothing to be buried there. Once your body gets through the gate your eternal rest is free. The costs are incurred for everything that takes place prior to arriving at this National showplace.

            The answer? Keep the two phone numbers I’m going to give you and check with them both to see what kind of veteran’s packages they have. Make your arrangements now while you have something to say about it…There are a lot of scams out there that’s why I’m telling you to work with two Dixon related businesses who have been around for a long time and have local reps.

            One is Milton Carpenter/McCune Chapel at 678-2189 and the other is Bryan-Braker at 693-0202. Don’t get yourself or your family in a bind when the unexpected, (but sure as hell is going to happen one of these days) event occurs. Also if you have a DNR keep it on the refrigerator or someplace where you can get your hands on it QUICKLY. If you don’t have it and want it to work…it won’t happen. If don’t don’t have one, and you don’t want to linger as an expensively preserved veggie should the worst case happen, then get a DNR from your health care provider, attorney and/or probably on line.

            My last wife, Linda, will probably pull the plug on me a few seconds after I don’t open my eyes…she has the power and paper to do this…pretty smart on my part huh?

 

 

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March 15th 2012
National Geographic’s “Wild Justice” Season Two Begins Sunday

Posted under Rich Reeser's Outdoor Column

 

“Wild Justice,” the popular television reality series that
showcases wildlife crime fighting in California, begins its second                                            
season this Sunday night. The first episode of the season will air at 9
p.m. on the National Geographic channel.

The series opener corresponds with Daylight Savings Time to remember to
check local listings for air times in your area.

Department of Fish and Game (DFG) wardens worked with National
Geographic video crews throughout the year to produce one of the
network’s highest rated shows ever. Each week, camera crews accompany
California game wardens on patrol working everything from poaching
investigations involving deer, wild pigs and abalone to illegal drug
use/possession, stolen vehicles and illegal marijuana cultivation.

The vast majority of California hunters and anglers are engaged in
lawful, ethical outdoor recreation. Legitimate hunters and anglers have
contributed to the majority of the fish and wildlife conservation
efforts in California for more than 100 years. Although the show focuses
on the very small percentage that break the law, the series also
recognizes hunters and anglers who practice responsible conservation of
the fish and wildlife populations, and their habitats.

The producers of the show, Original Productions, also produce the hit
series “Deadliest Catch,” “Ice Road Truckers” and “Axemen,”
among others. Their intensive style of production puts the viewer in the
middle of the action as wardens conduct investigations of every sort.
They even attached cameras to the collars of warden K9s to get a
viewpoint unlike any other.

 

California Outdoors Q&As Can Ducks See Color?

                                                                                                               Photo by Ted Hickman this past week in rural Dixon

 
Question: Can ducks see color? I know deer see different shades of gray, but what about ducks and geese? (David V.)
 
Answer: Well, this actually is a fairly entertaining question since waterfowl are much different than many other animals — especially us!
 
According to Department of Fish and Game (DFG) waterfowl biologist Shaun Oldenburger, waterfowl can control the curvature of both the lens and cornea (mammals, including humans, only control the lens). This is basically how birds can see extremely well while flying and while in the act of diving/feeding. In addition, their eyes act independently and they use one at a time to allow for depth-perception since nearly all waterfowl have monocular, not binocular, vision (they can’t stare forward at objects).
 
Another unique thing about waterfowl is they can see in almost all directions. A few ducks are the exception to the rule, but usually the eye placement allows them to view in many different directions at the same time. Secondly, waterfowl have a very high number of cones (which dictates color vision in humans) which allows them to see sharp images and have color vision where colors are more vivid than humans’ ability. The breadth of color vision is much wider than our own since UV light can be observed by waterfowl (UV light is absorbed by lenses in humans). This allows waterfowl to fly at night or feed in the dark or at low light conditions.
 

 
Hunting deer after dropping their antlers?

 

 

Question: I have a question about a deer being legal to take after it drops its antlers. I hunt during the late archery deer season and was hunting one buck for about a month. By the end of the A-22 archery season, the buck had dropped both antlers. The regs read as follows: §351. Forked-Horn Buck, Antlerless and Either-Sex Deer Defined.

(a) Forked-Horn Buck Defined. For the purpose of these regulations a forked-horn buck is defined as a male deer having a branched antler on either side with the branch in the upper two-thirds of the antler. Eyeguards or other bony projections on the lower one-third of the antler shall not be considered as points or branches.

(b) Antlerless Deer Defined. For the purpose of these regulations, antlerless deer are defined as female deer, fawns of either sex other than spotted fawns, and male deer with an unbranched antler on one or both sides which is not more than three inches in length.

(c) Either-Sex Deer Defined. For the purpose of these regulations, either-sex deer are defined as antlerless deer as described in section 351 (b), or legal bucks that have two or more points in the upper two-thirds of either antler. Spike bucks may not be taken.

The way I read the regs, it would be illegal to shoot a buck after it dropped its antlers. Can you clarify this for me please? (Jim P.) Answer: Yes, you are correct. That deer got lucky this year! 
 

Lifetime licenses?

 

Question: Why did California stop sending lifetime licenses out? At the time of purchase there were no restrictions implying I had to remain a resident of California and I had no intentions of moving. Circumstances changed though and now I live out of state. Does this negate the lifetime license privileges that I’ve already paid for? (Aron H., Homer, Alaska)

Answer:  No, your lifetime license status has not changed because you moved out of state. According to DFG Sport Fishing/Waterfowl/Upland Game Program Analyst Glenn Underwood, a change in lifetime license issuance procedures was made when we launched the Automated License Data System in 2010.  Lifetime license customers must now verify that their personal information is correct and request their license annually. There are three ways to claim your license:
 
1. Pick up your license at any license agent. A list of license agents is available at www.ca.wildlifelicense.com/internetsales/OutletSearch/FindOutlet ( https://www.ca.wildlifelicense.com/internetsales/OutletSearch/FindOutlet ).
 
2. Order it online at www.dfg.ca.gov/licensing. Log in and complete your transaction as though you are making a purchase. There will be no charge for your lifetime license.
 
3. Call (800) 565-1458 and your license will be mailed to you.

 

 Read the regs…but I think the youth spring Turkey season starts next Saturday for two days…a week ahead of the regular season. So if you have, or know a junior hunter, why not set them up for a hunt a week before you can go at and help them harvest a bird.

 

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March 15th 2012
Hard Deaths, Calm Beginnings

Posted under That's Life Columns

It is too bad the rest of the State can’t learn from the little town of Dixon.  Perhaps it is synchronicity.  On the other hand it could be just plain old luck or a matter of inevitability related to random chance.  What is that, the chaos theory?

I have told you in the past that a war of principles, beliefs, and ideas is occurring in the United States.  Constitutional government is being assaulted by individuals posing as Democrats who are in actuality treasonous far left liberals.  The only reason I use the term treasonous is that they do not believe in American values any more than the religious ideologues known as Islamic extremists do.  Their mutual goal is the overthrow of traditional America, something which has worked remarkably well over the last 236 years.

The attempt is to take over every facet of the American system including education.  If you control government, you can control the masses.  If you control education, you control minds.  Very few will fight when they are unaware they are in a one.

So what is the fight in Dixon, you ask?  It is the same fight which is being lost in other cities in Solano County as well as throughout California.  There are so many fronts in this war that it bears a deeper analysis than I can give in this short column.  Let’s see if we can hit most of the pertinent ones.

During the American Revolution there was a concerted effort to eliminate a class system in America.  There was not supposed to be an aristocracy.  Those with money and power then are not much different than at any time throughout our country’s history.  This plague generally surfaces in the form of elitist clubs or bad old boy groups.  It is the golden rule: “those with the gold makes the rules”.

 

This is problematic only because it is basically obstructionist in that it keeps innovators from innovating as those with businesses or other financial control don’t encourage competition.  Luckily our semi-free market system and the American spirit allow individual success despite interference from those who couldn’t achieve if they had the blueprints in front of them.

Those who have run the show in Dixon for the last thirty or forty years have done so based on either their money, the size of their farms, or being part of the club.  Some have been brought in and ingratiated themselves to this group of inbred one dimensional stuffed shirts.  They attempt to keep the status quo not because of larger traditional values but because it benefits them financially.

I have to thank Barack Obama, an economically incompetent president, who has exacerbated a weak economy inherited from Bill Clinton through George Bush and developed it into a major depression.  If it weren’t for this wobbling house of cards, we thinkers and leaders would be pushed aside as the problem would not be addressed as it wasn’t for years.

 

Rather than repeat remarks I have made in past columns about all of the projects foregone in favor of increasing wages and benefits for staff, I will remind you that many problems in Dixon are ignored because they are seasonal or happening to people who aren’t part of the elite.  We also have those who would do projects, such as the Besneatte/Batchelor/Fooler boondoggle West A Street underpass, which are unnecessary as well as a waste of money.  Spend $80 million of more so that 100 people a day will use heavy rail?  Really?  You should be working for the Federal government or Jerry Brown.

The larger repetitive point I will once again make is the bad old boys are losing control and they aren’t going to go quietly.  A demonstration of this occurred last week and has continued on into this week within the library district which is run by the school district.

 

While some might believe that Gregg Atkins was simply going to inform the library commission at a hastily called closed session meeting that he was terminating his employment come June 1st, many of us have a hard time believing anything this guy says.

There is nothing in the law which states this must be done in closed session despite his statement that it is always done this way.  Why would you claim this was about “compensation” or “negotiations” if all you were going to do was quit?  Was Atkins after a buy out?  Was he looking for an extension despite what he said after his plan failed?  It seems that it makes little difference at this time.

The following Wednesday saw a special meeting of the library district where the library board, not commission, voted to obtain legal services from a different firm than Kronick, Moskowitz, Tiedermann, and Gerard much to the howling protests of the bad old boy representatives on both sides of the dais.  A closed session produced a letter to the head of the library commission, Becky Craig, warning her and her almost defunct board not to attempt to sign any agreements with the librarian beyond the dissolution date of their commission.  It would seem that at least three school board members trust the commissioners even less than I do.

As I said, the bad old boys won’t simply walk away.  They are far too entrenched.  They believe in what they do even though they refuse to look at their accomplishments for what they are: far less than stellar and primarily non-existent.

It has been pointed out to me by several members of the school board that they feel they are wasting an inordinate amount of time on non-productive issues such as this.  I have told them that it takes time to clean the outhouse before you can refurbish or rehabilitate it and make it functional for its purpose.  Once you have it devoid of rats, you don’t let them back in.

Similarly I attended a couple of meetings of governmental agencies outside of Dixon, one in Oakland for the Association of Bay Area Governments (ABAG) and the other in Suisun which was for the Solano Transportation Authority.  These were two disparate groups but you could easily see the games being played.

Many of you in Dixon have finally had enough with these ignorant plans to put in a costly infrastructure to enable a train station that few of you will use.  Some are concerned about the safety of an underground pedestrian crossing designed to make it safer for people who now have to cross the railroad tracks at grade.  Most are appalled at a price tag of $25 million for a West A Street underpass which will disrupt business in the downtown for a year.  Thanks to a half dozen of involved people, signatures have been gathered to finally prove the lack of support for this ridiculous proposal.

We carried our complaints to ABAG and were received quite cordially.  The group was surprised that others in rural areas had likewise protested “stack and pack” housing, which once again will put low income housing next to the train tracks.  This isn’t yuppie housing for those who will live here, work in Davis, and take the train back and forth as claimed by my friend who believes in this project.  How smart is it to put low income housing next to a train station they won’t be able to afford to use?  Have you checked the cost of using the train to commute anywhere?

There were some members of the committee who wanted to defer action on any of these “priority development areas”, PDA’s, because they didn’t have even a map showing where they were located.  Leave it to a past president of ABAG, a guy wearing a medal around his neck in a nice business suit with incongruous running shoes, to make a quick motion to approve everything but rural locations.  All but one person caved in to this guy’s amended motion but at least they listened and took action based on reasonable complaints.

The STA meeting was quite the opposite.  Despite being presented with petitions of opposition and listening to statements from the taxpayers group as well as concerned citizens, this committee didn’t ask a question or bat an eye.  Who was on it?  Mayors of several cities including the chair, our own mayor Batchelor, and Supervisor Jim Spering.  This is the typical control group which was dominant in Dixon until just recently.

These people listen to no one but have their own agenda.  It is not government of “the” people, it is as Jack Batchelor likes to say “government by and for the people I listen to and they are different than your people and I like it that way.”  It is going to take more work to root these people out and this is one of the specific reasons I chose to run against Batchelor.

I must say I do appreciate the mayor inviting the city manager to attend this meeting rather than attending the waste water committee meeting held in Dixon at 7pm the same night.  While I believe it would have been more productive for Jim Lindley to have been able to listen to a real citizens’ committee engaged in addressing long standing problems and projects, Lindley got to see first hand that Dixon citizens as well as Vacaville resident and Solano County Taxpayer president Earl Heal aren’t afraid to travel in mutual support of each other as well as voice their opinion on the foolishness of unaccountable bureaucracies.

The wastewater meeting also brought home one issue from Tuesday’s council meeting.  Supposedly our accounting software can’t give us a fund balance at any time or on a specific date if I understand it correctly.  I am not sure if Finance is claiming it can’t be done at all or only at the end of the year.  What the hell kind of an accounting system is that anyway?

Again it was stated we have an amalgamated fund balance in wastewater of $1.9 million but we don’t know the balance in operations or rehabilitation accounts.  This is like the water agency which doesn’t know the balance of these two or the capital improvement fund yet knows we are totally broke.  Kind of hard to make any reasonable financial plan with this type of information.

All I want to know is where the remaining $2.2 million in depreciation expenses went.  I wonder if Dave Mansfield or J.D. Kluge have got that figured out yet.  Time is running out.

Especially for bad old boys …

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March 8th 2012
That’s Life #400 (3-9-12)

Posted under That's Life Columns

Feel Free to Email: Tedhick@gmail.com

 

Dixon May Fair to present Snoop Dogg and Larry “the cable guy” at the fair…I’m sure nothing I could say could beat what you’re thinking…

You guess which is which

 

Comedy Night Tonight

 Another first for the Dixon American Legion Friday Night Legion Live series is a comedy night set from 8 to 9:30 tonight at the Veteran’s Hall on N. First Street. If you want to eat, laugh and drink you might want to show up; $10 cover charge. Next week is the much anticipated “Open Microphone” night that has Karaoke with a live band. I understand the later it gets and the more people drink, the better the show.

 

Hell’s Angels Club House

 

Last Thursday I went down to Vallejo to the Hell’s Angels Clubhouse to observe 13 biker clubs (“Biker’s Rights Organization”) from through this area come together in kind of a modern day round table. It was interesting in that they finally figured out it was better for all concerned to sit around a huge table area and discuss things instead of taking other alternative methods they used  to use to solve all problems. They have a calendar of events where each club can commit to a date for a ride, fund raiser, whatever, and then each of the “outlaw” clubs try to participate to help each other out. Their meeting is different from other democratic meetings in that only one person from each group is supposed to act as the spokesperson…makes things run a lot smoother, I can tell you that.

            They have a president and officers of the multi biker club organization who run the meeting where the 13 clubs sit in a square/round table forum (no head or end of the table) not unlike Arthur and his boys did a long time ago. You know these guys aren’t that far removed from the knights of old; aside maybe from goals and objectives. They ride big bikes instead of horses but you better believe that, to a man, would stop and put an end to some dirt ball trying to rough up and old lady and steal her purse. The HAMC guys have always been nice to me and treated me with respect…which is a lot better than the alternative. I’ve only been a couple of places where they’ve been but I can tell you there is no trouble caused by their people at any of these events…they police their own. I like their motto…I should make it mine: “When we do right nobody remembers, when we do wrong nobody forgets.”  The story of my life as kind of a Heck’s Angle…and a great title for my next book.

  

CWA Dinner

 

            The CWA dinner is coming up shortly and if you don’t attend any other sportsman’s benefit dinner go to this one to help them out. They give for free what DU charges for and the California Waterfowl Association is for California. Sportspeople from Dixon have given hundreds of thousands of dollars over the years to Duck Unlimited, and the NRA as a matter of fact. What have we, the average hunter, gotten back from DU? Nada, nothing, zilch…They take and *take and give nothing back except to the big duck clubs with the big money…*isn’t that the pirate’s oath?

            Anyway on March 14 at 6:30 pm there will be a meeting at Roundtable Pizza to chart out the upcoming dinner. Attend if you can. If not, get your tickets for the March 24 dinner, to be held at the fairgrounds, by calling Gerald Depew of Dixon at 916.813.5211.

 

House Back For Rent

 

            We wanted to rent the one house we have to a military family so we worked through the military site. We spent a couple of months getting the place in great shape, all the time losing rent and paying the mortgage. We had a military renter commit from Mississippi, had it inspected by Travis housing department and at the last minute the couple  decided to get something “cheaper.” Sooo if you know anyone looking for a low maintenance, 1400 sq ft. house with a huge in ground pool, our by Wal-Mart, have them give us a ring; 678-2203. The rent is $1,800. We had a back up list of five people who wanted it, but I trusted the commitment made but not honored, and threw away the backup list…My first wife Linda warned me not to; but who’s the pro here?

 

The Big 400

 

Over 400 weeks ago (that’s a column every single week, non-stop, for 7.692 years) I resurrected this column for the fourth time and started writing it again. I started taking some photos, etc., to help out IV Publisher Dave Scholl who was, at the time, deathly ill with a form of cancer. What started out to be a “little while” thing has ended up being quite a little while. This column was first started when I was editor of the Dixon Tribune from the mid 60’s to the early 70’s. It then went through two other papers before gracing these pages.

We came here from Dayton, Ohio for me to take over as editor of the Dixon Tribune. At that time the Tribune basically had church news and whatever anyone brought in. Overnight I started hard news, police and fire reports, hard news city council and school board stuff and coverage of accidents, etc. What a shock for this little community of less than 2,000. I jumped out of an air plane and did a story, interviewed a stripper who worked at a place in West Sac. where the property owner was on the Dixon School Board, spent a while under cover in juvenile hall as a runaway 17 year old to expose bad conditions there…and basically was everywhere something happened. The readers loved it. They lined up around the block to get the paper each week; no kidding.

            I bitched about the 5-0 city council and encouraged people to run but everyone was afraid of the repercussions of a bank controlled council and suggested I do so. So I did, broke the mold, and became the youngest elected official in the state, I was like 22, at the time. Almost everyone else on the council was old enough to be my grandpa. It changed the whole system. For four years the vote was 4-1 on a lot of things and stayed that way until I got help…oh the stories I could tell. The next two four- year terms I served had different results.

            Anyway during the seven years or so I was editor we won first place state, California News Paper Association, and national, National Newspaper Association awards (that one presented by then Gov. Ronald Reagan), along with many other awards and I was nominated for the Pulitzer prize for my juvenile hall series and I took it all in stride…all of this from the little hometown paper.

My first wife Linda suffered though it all hearing some people, out in public places, complain about me as an elected official (not knowing who she was) or about me as a soccer  ref, or baseball manager, or writer or photographer, etc.

            Through it all she became one of the founders of Dixon Little League with me and was one of the first women board members and coach, soccer board member, licensed soccer referee and coach, girls softball all star manager, fished, hunted, helped start Toys for Tots, and went along with whatever wild things I came up with next….on and on…all of this before we ever had children…lucky girl huh?

            Whatever, next week will be the current column’s version # 401. The same column (uncensored) appears on my web site: www.tedhickman.com and gets between 85 and 100 hits everyday from around the world. I have left my business cards throughout all of our travels and people keep reading…we all know it’s because of the “edgy” stuff…but there’s some good stuff too…you just have to find it.

            So it boils down to: If you like what you read, keep reading. If you don’t, quit. If you read things you think are really well written, clever and fun to read, I probably wrote it. If you didn’t like it, or thought it distasteful, poorly written or just plain stupid…I probably “borrowed it” from one of the 50 to 100 emails I receive 24/7.

 

 

Email Bag: IRS Reject

Ted: The IRS sent my Tax forms back! AGAIN! I guess it was because of my response to the question: “List all dependents?” I replied -“12 million illegal immigrants;”3 million crack heads;”42 million unemployable people on food stamps,”2 million people in over 243 prisons; Half of Mexico”; and “535 fools in the U.S. House and Senate.” Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer. R.H. Bay Point

 

Email bag: Post Draumatic Stress Disorder… 

Ted: I recently came back from a tour of duty in Afghanistan. Having not seen my wife for several months, I was pulsing with anticipation and looking forward to a night of hot passionate sex with her.  Unfortunately she came out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her head, and I shot her. (Name withheldfrom polilce by request).

 

 Maria’s

 

            My first wife Linda was heartbroken when her favorite restaurant, Chevy’s, pulled its Dixon plug and ran. It was her place for birthday dinners and anything else she could think of. We forgot all about the locally owned, little jewel tucked away near the Valero Gas Station on Pitt School road; Maria’s.  

We ran into Dr. and Mrs. Jim Sanderson there the other night only to be served by cute, perky, little Karla Alvarado who we found graduated with our youngest son Joel, in1997 from DHS. Her local family owns the place and the food and prices compared pretty well with Chevy’s. No big crowd and Linda’s found her BNP to satisfy her Mexican food cravings (best new place). If you haven’t been there, and they have food to go, try it. I think you’ll like it. Call 678-9512 for Maria’s Mexican Restaurant.

 

 

 

 

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