Feel Free to Email:Tedhick@gmail.com
For the tens of thousands who fought, and the thousands who gave their lives that day, and the shrinking number of WWII combatants still alive… thank you for the freedoms we now have… June 6, 1944- D-Day.
Game Club Meeting, Monday 6 pm
At 6:30 on Monday you need to step up to the plate and attend the Dixon Game and Conservation Club’s monthly meeting… Fork over your $10 for an annual membership and be part of the game club’s programs.
If you hunt or fish or just enjoy the out of doors your help is needed to keep this 80+ year old local club going strong. If you have kids that are, or will be, into the outdoors you need to join and help out a little only a couple of times a year. This is the group that puts on the annual crab/prawn feed, the annual youth pheasant hunts and holds all of the hunter safety clinics and courses. The club’s membership is dwindling as older members croak and some new blood is needed… The club house is located right behind the post office on Mayes Street. See you there…
Dixon, Sure I Know Where That Is…!
It happened to me the first time, believe it or not, in Hong Kong. I was there with a Chinese/American business partner, Bob Chang, and we were taking a cab to a business meeting. The apparent former NSCAR driver/cabbie did his usual, “Where you guys from”? We said “California” and he said, “What part?” I said, “The north” and he said, “What part?” I said, “Between Sacramento and San Francisco”. He said, “Vacaville, Davis?” I said, “No you probably never heard of it… Dixon”. He said, “Sure I’ve heard of it me and my family started the sod business there.” What are the odds huh? Of all the cabs in all the places in the world… how’d we end up in his?
As Yogi would say, “It was Deja vu all over again” this past weekend when my first wife Linda and her 90 year-old mother were in Indiana visiting their cousins. They were taking a day trip, visiting way the hell and gone, to a little Northern Indiana Amish town by the shore of Lake Michigan. They were at a little candy store in Shipshewana, Indiana called the Victorian Candy Company. Almost the identical conservation to the one above took place with the punch line from the candy salesman being, “Sure I know where Dixon is, I went to school there for a while before we moved to Vacaville.” What are the odds huh? Of all of the candy stores in this country… how’d she/he end up there?
Are We Nuts?
Anybody out there have a calculator that goes out to enough numbers to figure out something for me… please. With the thousands of acres taken out of row crop production and planted in nut trees I’m trying to figure out our water loss.
At least 2,000 acres in this immediate area have been converted in the past year or so. If you average 120 + trees per acre that equals about 240,000 trees. Right so far? I don’t know how many nuts per tree but let’s say, only for the sake of argument, a ridiculous 100 per tree. This is where the big math comes in. How many nuts is that? And, if it takes a gallon of water to produce each nut how many gallons of water is that? And if the nuts take all of our water what will we drink almond milk? And what is this water hogging going to cost us in the long run as supplies dwindle even further? Curious minds want to know… Do You?
PROD Strikes Again
You think our city council has some strange ideas about how they are supposed to represent the public take a gander at our neighbors, The People’s Republic Of Davis (PROD). They are now prodding their people on how to raise their children and dictating what they will drink and where. They have already outlined smoking in cars, loud snoring neighbors, and a whole host of laws that can only make us thankful our city council just doesn’t want to let us vote on a stinky issue.
This comes from Davis Enterprise columnist Bob Dunning, May 28, 2015… (“Last Tuesday’s city council vote requires the changes below to start Sept. 1) … really!
“It may be painful at first, but my sweetheart and I have decided to pack up our kids and deliver them to City Hall to be raised until they turn 18 years of age by members of the Davis City Council.
After last Tuesday’s vote requiring selected local restaurants to serve milk or water as some sort of “default” drink, it’s clear the council knows a heck of a lot more about raising our kids than we do.
Using the word “Whereas” to start eight straight sentences, the Council decreed that come Sept. 1 “A restaurant that sells a children’s meal that includes a beverage shall make the default beverage offered with the children’s meal one of the following: 1) Water, sparkling water, or flavored water, with no added natural or artificial sweeteners; 2) Milk or non-dairy milk alternative.”
This, of course, creates a conflict of sorts, since on the one hand restaurants are supposed to automatically offer water as a default beverage, while at the same time they are being ordered by the State Water Resources Control Board to never, ever serve customers water unless they specifically request it.
Scofflaw parents can still order soda pop for the kids under Section 17.02.02 (b) that states “Nothing in this Section prohibits a restaurant’s ability to sell, or a customer’s ability to purchase, a substitute or alternative beverage instead of the default beverage offered with a children’s meal, if requested by the purchaser of the children’s meal.”
They will, however, be subject to the “Public Shaming” section of the ordinance that requires all restaurants to snap photos of any parent ordering “alternative” beverages and post them prominently on the city’s new social media site known as the “Wall of Shame.” Soda-ordering parents will also be reported to Child Protective Services.
You should note that 7-Eleven, which sells monstrously large sugar-laced drinks to children of any age, is exempt from this feel-good ordinance that accomplishes absolutely nothing”…
I contacted Bob and asked for his permission to reprint the above and he said, “Sure”. I told him about calling his city PROD and he said, “That’s OK I‘ve been doing that since the 70’s.” This is no joke, once again they are as serious as a heart attack. I am so glad we live on this unenlightened side of the freeway.
More Things For Thought
*Ironically, erectile dysfunction appears to be a growing problem.
*Even the worst hangover is over by 5pm… Coincidence? I think not.
*I hate to be critical, but whoever named them “brownies” really wasn’t trying very hard.
*Once again I’ve failed being a smart-ass. I told the wife her makeup application just screams “I failed clown college”… sleeping on the couch again.
*Everyone at my funeral will be given a stun gun… the last person standing gets all my stuff.
*My car remote died today… I had to insert the key in the door like some kind of damned animal!
*I predict it’s only a matter of time until “security camera’s of Wal-Mart” becomes a hit reality show.
*I want to live in a world where the food network delivers.
*I don’t understand the point of a “lap dance”… if I wanted a woman to sexually frustrate me and take all my money I’d just stay home.
*The wife can’t find a serving size on the label of a bottle of wine… so she just assumes its one serving.
*Cigarettes and alcohol have warning labels because they are addictive, dangerous and destroy lives… and yet women are just allowed to roam about freely.
*”Girls just want to have fun” became a feminist anthem for women in the 1980’s… probably ‘cuz it’s really upbeat and easy to do housework to.
*Well, if you count watching Elmer Fudd singing “kill the wabbit”… then yes, I’ve been to the opera.
*A roadrunner’s top speed is about 20mph while a coyote can reach speeds of up to 43mph… my childhood was a lie!
*It’s only when a mosquito lands on your private parts that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without violence.
*If a giraffe could drink coffee it would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think of that… oh hell no, you only think about yourself!
*If you thought you heard 20 minutes of moaning coming from the bedroom this morning… that was just me trying to stand up.
*At some point in life everyone has gambled on passing gas… .and lost.
*Helen Keller walks into a bar… then a table, then a chair.
*I was riding a horse once and its leg broke. I had to shoot it… everyone on the carousel freaked!
*Marriage is supposed to be permanent… it’s like a tattoo that yells at you.
*To accurately distinguish between African and Indian elephants you must check their defining trait, the ears… you lift one up and shout “Where are you from?”
*Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security… at least it’s the first thing they holler when I approach them!
*Nymphomaniac: A woman as obsessed with sex as the average man.
*I’ve learned two important lessons in life. I can’t recall the first one… but the second one is that I need to start writing things down.
*I’ve been hiding from exercise… I’m in the fitness protection program.
*Sleeping in could very easily be my super-power… if not for my arch nemesis, having to pee.
*I’m very good at getting haircuts, going to the dentist or even fighting bulls… just any excuse to wear a cape.
*The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds.
*I was on the commode for so long I finally said to myself… “I’m getting too old for this crap!”
Warning About EBay
If you buy stuff on line, check out the seller carefully. A friend of mine just spent $95, plus tax, on a penis enlarger… Bastards sent him a magnifying glass… The only instruction said, “Do not use in sunlight.”