Posted under That's Life Columns
Feel Free to Email:Tedhick@gmail.com
If you ever worry about what people think of you keep
in mind they probably don’t think about you at all.
The Yolo Frontloaders Gun Club is having their Black Powder Seminar this Saturday, June 15th and it’s open to the public. The event starts at 9 am and runs to 2 pm with a cost of only $7 per person, which includes lunch and beverage. Seminar located at the Yolo Sportsmen’s Association Club house with the opportunity to fire a muzzleloader on the Specialty Range after lunch.

The seminar instruction includes learning the basics, such as: black powder muskets, rifles, shotguns and pistols, basic equipment, loading, firing, troubleshooting, safety and cleaning, tomahawk and knife throwing, and historical references on the mountain men their revolvers and civil war history.
Ear and Eye Protection is Mandatory and will be provided if participants don’t have their own. No experience needed, just a desire to learn about Black Powder Shooting. For more information contact
Karissa Anne Alarcon, (707) 678-9216 or (800) 872-7703 or just show up over in rural Davis.
From the Email Bag…
Ted: Your comment about the president calling the gay black basketball player and telling him how brave he was for admitting he really does love his fellow man and not calling the families of any KIA veteran’s families was spot on, again. I know this isn’t a popular opinion but I am also bothered by the fact when a police officer or firefighter looses their life thousands of fellow policemen or firemen show up (at a huge cost to the taxpayers I might add) along with the governor and other politicians. I wonder how many would show up if they had to pay for it with their own money. When the body of a KIA serviceman comes some it is usually at night, with the casket escorted from the plane by a few fellow service members and then a subdued ceremony without any thanks or fan fare. Has Obama personally thanked even one family? This just isn’t right. Thanks for letting me air my beefs and keep telling it like it is. W.B Dixon.
Just A Taste of The Oklahoma Storm
Late Sunday night and into early Saturday morning the northeastern area of Solano County (including us) had a small taste of what the people in Oklahoma deal with…without the destructive tornadoes. A little before and a little after midnight a dry lightning storm roared into our area producing over 8,000 lighting strikes and 60 small fires according to CDF. We could see the cloud to ground strikes from our bedroom window and the thunder shook the windows. The cloud to cloud strobe lighting and huge bright ground bolts are exactly what I described a couple of weeks ago that we experienced for many hours sitting on the edge of the most powerful recorded tornado in recorded history. A lot of people in this area had never experienced thunder like that or have seen huge bolts of a lightning strike. The analogy I gave of being in a bowling alley with the florescent lights flickering out now makes sense to many people. Picture that little storm we had, lasting through the whole nighttime hours. Believe it or not you even get used to the loud crack of the lightning bolts…On the bright side of that trip we did get to see lightening bugs again.
Once again: Instead of giving money to the Red Cross for expensive salaries and perks why not just send a donation to the Moore Oklahoma City Council for its use to really help the locals there. Now they are saying it was the biggest (over two miles wide) and highest wind speed ((maybe close to 300 MPH) in recorded weather history. We can tell you just being in Tulsa Oklahoma during that time and getting the edge of these storms was an eye opener to say the least.
More Random Thoughts…
A real miracle would be Jesus turning water into cheaper gasoline.
My uncle works so he can afford the amount of alcohol it takes to keep him going to work.
I miss you like an old man’s urine stream misses the commode.
I strenuously object to the city’s recycling plan…it makes me look like an alcoholic to the garbage man.
My wife is worried that her latest donation to the Salvation Army will result in homeless people looking like sluts from the 90′s.
Ya know, I think most people spent more time picking the teams for their NCAA brackets than the papal conclave did electing pope Francis.
If I’m ever in a position where I have to run for my life I’m gonna die…..I’m sure of it.
My neighbor’s idea of a happy meal is a bottle of vodka, a fistful of Xanax and a cookie.
There is a rising new trend called “anal bleaching” and as a medical professional I’d generally be against such a practice….then again, there are some a**holes on the city council who really do need to lighten up.
Don’t be afraid of putting on a few extra pounds…remember that fat people are much harder to kidnap.
Some days my ready supply of sarcastic smart-ass remarks just doesn’t add up to that days demand.
Occasionally I take a long look at my wife and think…damn! That’s one lucky woman!
Whenever I weigh myself I automatically subtract 8 pounds…I don’t think having brains and being well hung should count against me.
My anger management classes really tend to piss me off.
The public is so stupid I can actually hear the words being misspelled as they speak to me.
I was a smart-ass kid and we didn’t have “time out”…..we had what was called “time’s up!” and then I would get my butt beat.
I don’t understand why marijuana is still illegal….when people smoke it the only thing they’re a threat to is snack foods.
Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.
I have to be honest about this…being around your kids makes me want to give myself a vasectomy with my toenail clippers.
I’m much too politically correct to ever tell you to go to hell…but may I suggest a carnival cruise?
Don’t cry because it’s over…smile because her new boyfriend looks like a troll.
I’m just one dumbass away from going completely insane.
Sinkholes…just one more friggin’ thing to add to my long list of anxieties.
As I ride my unicorn through the forest of talking flowers all I can think about is how darned weird you are.
Wal-Mart is the preferred choice…going to Target requires a shower and cleaner clothes.
According to the latest government calculations we will be able to retire 3-5 years after we die.
You had me at “hello”…and lost me at your pre-sneeze face.
If I make you breakfast in bed a simple thank-you is all I need…not all this crap about how did I get in your house.
Patience is what parents display when there are witnesses present.
Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at the mental hospital.
I love water…especially when it’s frozen and surrounded by scotch.
I had a hard time convincing my kids that just because I give them advice it doesn’t mean I know more than they do…it just means I’ve done more stupid carp.
When we were little they didn’t call it “behavioral disorders”…they called it being a little brat.
I ran into our high school homecoming queen the other day…she was bragging that she hadn’t changed much and in fact could still fit into the earrings she wore in high school.
It Did Nothing…
Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my 12 gauge double barreled (a shotgun) right in the doorway. I gave it two shells and left it alone and went about my business. While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the trash man picked up the trash, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few of my neighbors drove past the house.
After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there, right where I had left it. It hadn’t killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented with to do so. In fact, it hadn’t even loaded itself.
Well, you can imagine my surprise nothing happened, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong and it is the misuse of guns by people that kill people, or I’m in possession of the laziest gun in the world. Alright, well I’m off to check on my spoons. I hear they’re making people fat.






























My conservative friends have asked if there will also be a Dan White Day where crackers and Twinkies will be served to each student with the explanation of another San Francisco man, former police officer and elected official whose life style led to express his beliefs in an entirely different way. I think probably not…I don’t think he will even receive a mention in schools… which will unbalance the whole Ying/Yang thing going on in this crazy state. (Daniel James “Dan” White (September 2, 1946 – October 21, 1985) was an elected
Supervisor 









