Posted under That's Life Columns
If you can’t explain what Memorial Day is, why it’s a holiday, and how it should be celebrated you shouldn’t get a day off work or school. Hint: It ain’t all about partying.
Linda Hickman is seen at the Dixon’s Sacramento Valley National (Veteran’s) Cemetery visiting her father’s grave site. If you’ve never been there Monday would be a good day to visit and honor those who gave so much for this country… which allows us to have what we have.
Here It Comes… Nuts to Cost Us All
I just brought it up to the city council… Will the 1,000 plus acres of almonds just recently planted by a big consortium end up costing us all one way or another? No sooner said than done. SID, the water supplier for Ag, commercial and regular folks here abouts has just agreed to raise its rates to make up for lost revenue due to the drought.
Almonds begin bearing an economic crop in the third year after planting. Trees reach full bearing five to six years after planting. (See: University of California cooperative extension sample costs to establish an orchard and produce Almonds for interesting information. It is a high water user and high profit business with moderate risk for the grower.)
Since reportedly it takes a gallon of water for each nut finally produced guess who’s hogging water year around meant for your household… and guess who will be paying more because reportedly Oprah, Michael J. and the gobs of others in their business venture need a tax write off for the millions they have invested here. Reportedly they paid some up to $23,000 an acre to plant the lovely rows of trees you now see ranging from here to Vacaville. That plus the years the trees take to return a profit add up to 10’s of millions invested in the rural Dixon area… Good for a few but not so much for the rest of us.
We have volunteered for almost everything in this community at one time or another… but this was a new one for us. The annual pin ball machine charity fund raiser held at the Dixon May Fair grounds for the past 19 years came again… last weekend. For $25 for adults or $12 for kids you could flip your flippers and knock your balls around to your heart’s content for more than an eight hour work day.
They came by the hundreds from the very young, with their own step stools, to senior citizens in with walkers and everything in between.
The crowd was exactly what I pictured Comic-Con would be… sans costumes. We were at the door for four hours and Saturday and got to see everyone who entered through Madden Hall… A line which never stopped while we were there.
The interesting thing is the whole gathering is a volunteer effort and all done for charity. The hundreds of pin ball machines are brought in by volunteers from a multi-state area. Players come from all over the northwest to spend the weekend here playing all three days… Good for the motels, restaurants, etc. Playing for what you may ask? Nothing. They are playing for the love of pin ball. No prizes, (outside of a little tournament) no nothing but unlimited play on over 300 different pinball machines. The players are stacked sometimes two and three deep waiting a turn to play while they filled both Madden and Denverton Halls.
After out shift we waited in line and played a few games (see my first wife Linda in photo. The other photos are of a small part of the crowd and a little girl playing with her dad) and just walked around marveling at the mixture of the assemblage.
As I said the whole thing is a huge volunteer effort with the proceeds going to organizations supporting youth in Dixon with the Teen Center being the primary beneficiary in the past. One of the volunteer coordinators said, “We will be bring a check to the city council in a July or August with the proceeds” from the three day event… which could be as much as 10’s of thousand s of dollars… all from the ALL volunteer event… They are to be commended and I know the city council will give them proper accolades for their annual effort when they appear at the council meeting.
Enjoy This While You Can
I actually heard people complaining about “how cold it’s been recently”… Really? In a couple of weeks we will be begging for this cool weather to return. The first high 90’s day I should look those folks up and see if they are complaining about the heat. We love this cool weather and cold nights rather unique to this part of the country. The Delta breeze, for which we are thankful, chills us now and cools us when the heat arrives. It’s the nasty north wind we could all do without.
More Things For Thought
*Who’s the guilty one? A wife is dreaming in bed and wakes up suddenly and shouts. “Quick, my husband is home!”… this awakens her husband who gets up and jumps out the window.
*My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look hot… so I came back drunk.
*Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in cages… we just want to let them out and play with them.
*There’s a fine line between being a lovable wise ass and a jerk… and I seem to find a way to cross it every day.
*Periods help you learn how to get blood stains out of things… which is why more men seem to get arrested for murder.
*Whoever is in charge of making sure I don’t do or write stupid crap is fired!
*What do women say when they are actually fine?
*Has anyone else noticed that the symbol “&” looks like some guy dragging his butt across the floor?
*I took my granddaughter shopping for back-to-school supplies and asked the clerk “what’s a good school binder for my girl here?” He said, “trapper keeper?”… uh, no, she’s my granddaughter.
*Naming that space movie “gravity” makes about as much sense as naming Jurassic Park something like “there’s no dinosaurs in this”.
*My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with bodybuilding… I could feel the weight lifting from my shoulders.
*We’ve recently been selling a lot of anti-bacterial hand wash that promises to kill germs while it moisturizes at the same time… such violence and nurturing from the same product.
*The neighbor girl came home one evening with her shirt on inside out. When questioned by her mother why her shirt was on wrong she replied, “I think you old folks call it ‘second base’.
*Colin Firth has a younger brother… Colin thecond.
*If you’re going to walk a mile in my shoes… would you pick me up some beer on your way back?
*I just sprayed ‘fruit scented Febreze’ in my bathroom……now it smells like craprus.
*It’s good to know that if they ever release a lion in Wal-Mart you only have to run faster than the fat lady in the zebra-print pants.
*Popeye teaches us a basic lesson… the best reason to eat healthy is revenge.
*When our cable service goes out I pretend my bed is a boat and play Life of Pi with the damn cat.
*The next time I’m responsible for some horrible disaster that kills thousands of people I’m going to tell the judge I “work in mysterious ways”… just to see how far it gets me.
*John 3:16, mark 3:17, Luke 3:18… it was a really close race.
*A friend of mine told me an onion was the only food that could make you cry… that was just before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.
*I’m telling my grandkids not to do drugs or alcohol, there’s a time and a place for everything… it’s called college.
*I hate it when I offer a friend a sincere, heartfelt compliment on their mustache… and suddenly she’s not my friend anymore.
*A study shows that public speaking is people’s number one fear while death is number two… this means if you go to a funeral you’d be happier in the casket than doing the eulogy.
*Life expectancy would be a great deal longer if vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
*Ice skating is like walking in cursive.
*Almost every branch of science has a pseudoscience associated with it… chemistry and alchemy, astronomy and astrology, math and economics…
*2 out of 3 isn’t bad… unless you come home from the park with 2 out of 3 kids.